Communication breaks down for one reason more than any other:
What was said…
is not what was heard.
The distance between those two things can cost relationships, opportunities, and years of misunderstanding.
Oh, how we all can benefit from this process.
Saying what you mean the first time, one time, and in only the necessary words required, allows the message to do its work. Once the point has been made, the moment is free to unfold naturally. Sometimes a pause accomplishes this just as effectively.
SPEAKER RESPONSIBILITY
How do we know communication has been successful?
By the response.
Every person who communicates has the responsibility to communicate clearly and effectively, whether through writing or speech. Leave no doubt about this point.
It is always the responsibility of the communicator to communicate.
LISTENER RESPONSIBILITY
Learning to be a good listener improves every area of life.
Many people listen while preparing what they are going to say next. Instead of receiving the message, they are rehearsing a response.
The result is often repetition, misunderstanding, and a lack of genuine connection.
YOU NEVER SAID DIVE… I HEARD STRIVE
Watch any submarine movie.
You rarely hear arguments over what was said because there is a system in place to ensure the message is sent and received correctly.
The communication is repeated back.
It is not optional.
It is mandatory.
FEEDBACK
Before I explain the system, let me point out that counselors, therapists, analysts, military operations, and countless professionals use it every day.
The system is called feedback.
What was said is fed back.
The listener repeats what was heard.
In doing so, confusion is eliminated, assumptions are exposed, and understanding becomes crystal clear.
Tell me what I told you.
It works every time.
WAIT FOR THE CUE
When we were children, repetition was used constantly.
The ABCs.
Mathematics.
Language.
Music.
Repetition reinforces understanding.
The same principle applies to communication.
When understanding matters, repeat it back.
Confirm it.
Complete the cycle.
THE REAL LESSON
Many arguments are not disagreements.
They are communication failures.
One person believes they said something clearly.
The other believes they heard something completely different.
Neither realizes the message never completed the journey.
Feedback completes the journey.
THE PAYOFF
If you want stronger relationships, better business dealings, fewer misunderstandings, and more peace in your life, practice one simple habit:
Tell me what you heard.
You may discover that what you meant and what was received are two completely different things.
And in that discovery lies wisdom.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you