Some of the best lessons I ever learned were never written in a book.
They were whispered into my ear by a man fifty years older than me who had already survived enough life to know when words should travel quietly.
I worked for an old Jewish man for twelve years.
He had lived through the Depression.
He had lived through two world wars.
And somehow, through all of that hardship, experience, risk, and change, he became a very wealthy man.
But the money was not the most valuable thing he had.
What interested me were the things he KNEW.
Things nobody had written down for me.
Things that sounded strange when I first heard them.
Practical things.
Street things.
Business things.
People things.
And the funny part?
Most of them held up over time.
ONE DAY…YOU WILL KNOW
He used to tell me:
“One day you will thank me.”
Of course, being younger, I did not always receive that statement correctly.
LOL.
I thought I knew plenty already.
He knew better.
He was planting seeds.
He understood something I had not learned yet:
Some lessons cannot be explained to you when they are given.
You have to LIVE long enough for them to become true.
Years later, one after another, those seeds started coming up.
Then I understood what he had been doing.
HIGH-LEVEL COMMUNICATION
One thing he did everywhere we went has stayed with me.
Courtrooms.
Auctions.
Business meetings.
Public places.
Negotiations.
Anytime something important needed to be said privately, he would move close to me as though he were about to tell me a secret.
Then he would cup his hand over my ear.
His mouth would move close.
My ear would be covered.
And suddenly we had our own little secure communication channel.
LOL.
Nobody else heard a thing.
At first, I thought it was unnecessary.
Maybe even a little old-fashioned.
Remember, there were about fifty years between us.
My generation was not walking around cupping ears and whispering.
His generation understood exactly why you might.
LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS
I had heard the phrase:
LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS.
He had lived through the world that produced sayings like that.
There is a difference.
I knew the words.
He understood the consequences.
He had learned that information has value.
Timing has value.
Privacy has value.
And one careless sentence in the wrong place can become very expensive.
That was the lesson.
He was not being secretive for the sake of being secretive.
He was controlling the communication.
NO EMAILS…NO CELL PHONES…NO FAX
We did not have all the tools people depend on today.
No texting.
No instant messaging.
No email trail.
No cell phone sitting in everybody’s hand.
When something needed to be communicated, it often had to be communicated RIGHT THEN.
And it had to be understood correctly.
No misunderstandings.
No:
“I thought you meant…”
No:
“That is not what I heard.”
No do-over.
When we were making decisions involving money, property, negotiations, bids, or people, a sentence could matter.
So he made sure the sentence reached ONE person.
Me.
Not the room.
Not the competitor.
Not the person standing ten feet away pretending not to listen.
Me.
Once I finally understood that, I started appreciating the method.
WE WERE NOT TELLING SECRETS
People would sometimes look at us strangely.
There goes the old man cupping Richie’s ear again.
LOL.
But we were not gossiping.
We were conducting business.
Sometimes expensive business.
Sometimes split-second business.
Sometimes decisions had to be made right there while everybody else was watching.
So he would cup my ear.
Say what needed saying.
Step back.
And we moved.
Simple.
Direct.
Private.
Effective.
And because nobody else knew what had been said, nobody could use our own conversation against us.
THE ART OF CUPPING THE EAR
Eventually, I got used to it.
Actually, I started enjoying it.
There was something almost playful about the way he did it.
This highly successful, experienced businessman would lean over like a kid sharing a secret.
Then we would make some serious decision involving serious money.
That contrast made me laugh.
But underneath the humor was discipline.
He taught me to become conscious of WHERE I spoke.
WHO was listening.
WHAT needed to be said.
WHEN it needed to be said.
And whether it needed to be said at all.
Those lessons traveled with me long after I stopped working for him.
For the twelve years I was with this man, I prospered.
I loaned money.
I learned business.
And eventually, after leaving him, I started three successful businesses of my own.
I cannot trace every success back to one man cupping my ear.
But I can tell you this:
He made me much more aware of communication.
And awareness saves money.
Saves relationships.
Saves negotiations.
Sometimes saves you from your own mouth.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Today we have more ways to communicate than ever before.
And maybe less discipline about communication than ever before.
LOL.
Everybody can text.
Post.
Forward.
Screenshot.
Record.
Reply-all.
Send.
Share.
And once it leaves your mouth or your phone…
good luck getting it back.
That old man had no encryption software.
He had a hand.
An ear.
And common sense.
Worked pretty well.
FINAL THOUGHT
Some wisdom looks outdated until life catches up with it.
Cupping an ear may seem old-fashioned.
The principle behind it is not.
Protect important communication.
Know your surroundings.
Do not say everything in front of everybody.
And understand that the value of a message is sometimes determined by WHO does not hear it.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Good communication is not merely about speaking clearly.
It is also about timing, privacy, awareness, discretion, and knowing when information should remain between the people who actually need it.
That kind of communication builds trust and prevents unnecessary problems.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with another Pearls lesson:
KEEPING YOUR TRAP SHUT.
One Pearl teaches us when NOT to speak.
This one teaches us HOW to speak when something really does need to be said.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
Across the Pearls philosophy runs a simple theme:
Experience becomes wisdom only when we notice what life is trying to teach us.
The lesson may come from a parent.
A stranger.
A business partner.
A mistake.
Or an old man quietly cupping your ear.
The teacher is not always standing at a blackboard.
Sometimes the classroom is wherever life happens.
THE MAN WHO CUPPED MY EAR
He told me:
“One day you will thank me.”
He was right.
The day came.
Then it came again.
And again.
And again.
Some teachers disappear from your daily life…
but their voice never really leaves.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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