Some men shop with style.
Some men shop with instinct.
And some of us?
We buy six of the same shirt in different colors and call that VARIETY.
LOL.
One day I am out shopping…
looking around to gift my wife.
Guys…
we all do it eventually so relax a little here.
LOL.
The problem?
I AM NOT A GOOD SHOPPER.
Never was.
When I was a kid, I saved up my measly allowance and bought my mother…
LIPSTICK.
WHY?
Because it cost exactly what I had.
There you have it.
Early evidence.
LOL.
I DON’T SHOP WELL
It does not seem to matter how sincere the effort is.
Gift shopping just does not come naturally to me.
I can ask for help…
but then the salesperson says:
WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE LIKE?
Good question.
Now we have entered a full investigation.
Colors?
Styles?
Sizes?
Preferences?
Brands?
Occasion?
Whoa.
I came here to BUY SOMETHING…
not sit for an oral examination.
LOL.
So I usually go back to relying on my own judgment.
Which…
as you are about to see…
has produced mixed results.
MY VARIETY…DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME
When I was old enough to buy my own school clothes…
I developed a system.
A very efficient system.
If I found a pair of pants I liked?
I bought SIX.
Same pants.
Different colors.
If I found a shirt I liked?
Same thing.
Six.
Different colors.
To me…
THAT WAS VARIETY.
LOL.
I mean…
one is blue.
One is brown.
One is green.
What more do you people want?
I was perfectly satisfied…
until years later I discovered that apparently this is not how sophisticated shopping works.
Fine.
I stand corrected.
SAVE THE RECEIPT
My wife eventually taught me one of the most important rules of gift giving.
SAVE THE RECEIPT.
At first…
I thought this meant she admired my organizational skills.
LOL.
No.
It meant:
THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THIS IS GOING BACK.
Now this is no reflection on her.
Quite the opposite.
If she kept everything I bought…
out of kindness…
we would probably need another room.
LOL.
She understood something before I did.
A gift that cannot be:
used,
enjoyed,
or appreciated
has no legs.
So save the receipt.
Good advice.
ONE DAY WHILE OUT AND ABOUT
Then came the day…
I found THE GIFT.
I was walking around and saw one of the most beautiful bouquets of roses I had ever seen.
Absolutely magnificent.
Different stages of bloom.
Perfect petals.
Rich color.
Beautiful arrangement.
I stopped.
LOOK AT THAT.
These roses were speaking to me.
Not literally.
That would have been another post.
LOL.
But they beckoned…
and I answered.
DON’T GO SHOPPING WITH ME
Then I discovered something.
THEY WERE FAKE.
Fake roses.
Now some men might have walked away.
Not Richie.
LOL.
My mind immediately went to work.
Fake?
WAIT A MINUTE.
This may actually be BETTER.
Let us examine the advantages:
- THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
- THEY WILL LAST.
- THEY NEVER WILT.
- THEY KEEP LOOKING LIKE THE DAY YOU BOUGHT THEM.
- THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
To me…
this was not a problem.
This was an UPGRADE.
A GRAND SLAM.
This is how a man’s shopping mind can work.
Function.
Longevity.
Value.
DONE.
LOL.
I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO SHOP
I became excited.
THIS IS IT.
Finally.
After years of questionable gift decisions…
I had cracked the code.
She is going to LOVE these.
I am going to redeem myself.
I am choosing the best bunch…
yes, I know they are fake…
LOL…
when I look to the right.
And there…
waiting for me…
was the accessory that would take this gift to another level.
FAKE ROSE SPRAY?
Rose-scented spray.
ON SALE.
Now we have entered genius territory.
LOL.
Fake roses…
PLUS
rose fragrance.
Think about it.
Love and marriage.
Horse and carriage.
Phony roses…
phony rose spray.
PERFECT MATCH.
But then I had one concern.
How good could this stuff really smell?
I did not want the flowers smelling like a chemical factory pretending to be a garden.
That could ruin everything.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
So naturally…
I tested it.
LOVE IS IN THE AIR
I opened the rose spray…
gave those fake flowers a little treatment…
and WHOA.
Instant springtime.
Right there in the store.
I could not get my wallet out fast enough.
This was no longer shopping.
This was a MISSION.
LOL.
I bought the roses.
Bought the spray.
Brought everything home.
And here is where the story gets good.
My wife sees the roses…
and thinks they are REAL.
SUCCESS.
She looks at them.
Touches them.
Enjoys them.
We laugh when the truth comes out.
She loves them anyway.
Now I am BEAMING.
Finally.
RICHIE HAS ENTERED THE SCOREBOARD.
GOT ON THE SCOREBOARD
But I was not finished.
Oh no.
I still had the secret weapon.
I reach behind me…
and whoop out the can of rose spray.
LOL.
Now she sprays the flowers.
Smells them.
OOHS.
AHHS.
And says something like:
THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.
I had finally gotten it right.
Fake roses.
Fake scent.
REAL SUCCESS.
You cannot make this stuff up.
LOL.
THE LOGIC WAS SOLID
Now let me defend myself a little.
Fresh roses are beautiful.
No argument.
But they also:
wilt,
droop,
shed petals,
and eventually head toward the trash.
These?
No.
These flowers were READY FOR THE LONG HAUL.
Spray a little rose smell now and then…
and we are back in business.
That made complete sense to me.
And apparently…
for once…
it worked.
MEN AND WOMEN CAN SHOP DIFFERENTLY
Now before somebody starts writing letters…
I am not saying ALL men shop one way and ALL women another.
No.
I am saying SOME of us men tend to think in terms of:
DOES IT WORK?
WILL IT LAST?
IS IT A GOOD VALUE?
DONE.
A person with a stronger shopping instinct may also consider:
style,
presentation,
emotion,
occasion,
taste,
and whether the recipient actually wants the thing.
LOL.
That last category turned out to be important.
THE GIFT IS FOR THE OTHER PERSON
That may be the lesson hidden inside all this humor.
A gift is not about what makes sense to YOU.
It is about what brings pleasure to THEM.
That took me a while.
I thought:
IF I THINK THIS IS GREAT…
THEY SHOULD THINK THIS IS GREAT.
Not necessarily.
LOL.
Gift giving requires a little more:
attention,
observation,
listening.
What have they mentioned?
What do they like?
What do they use?
What makes them smile?
That is where the better gift usually lives.
THE RECEIPT IS STILL YOUR FRIEND
Even after all this wisdom…
save the receipt.
LOL.
Because sometimes you can:
listen,
study,
observe,
try your absolute best…
and still buy the wrong thing.
That is life.
No shame.
Exchange it.
Move on.
Love survives the return counter.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is one Richie rule:
If you buy six identical shirts in different colors…
that MAY not qualify as variety.
LOL.
Another:
The gift is for the person receiving it…
not the person who thinks they solved shopping.
And one more:
When fake roses and fake rose spray produce a real smile…
TAKE THE WIN.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
From the spirit of Pearls for the Soul:
“The value of a gift is often found less in the object than in the attention behind it.”
From the spirit of God I AM:
“What is given with care has a way of carrying more than its material value.”
From the spirit of It Is Finished:
“Release the need to get everything perfect when genuine intention has already entered the room.”
PEARLS INSIGHT
Gift giving works best when we think less about:
WHAT WOULD I LIKE TO GIVE?
and more about:
WHAT WOULD THIS PERSON ENJOY RECEIVING?
That requires some attention to:
preferences,
habits,
interests,
and personality.
But humor belongs here too.
Not every gift has to become a psychological study.
Sometimes a strange gift becomes memorable precisely because of the story attached to it.
And sometimes…
FAKE ROSES WIN.
LOL.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with THE LITTLE THINGS MATTER…INTIMACY RESIDES THERE.
Small acts of attention often carry more weight than expensive ones.
It also connects with CHALLENGE YOURSELF…TAKE THE LISTENING TEST.
Good gift giving starts with paying attention to what people actually say they like.
And RAPPORT OPENS ALL DOORS…FOR US TO WALK THROUGH reminds us that knowing another person better makes thoughtful giving easier.
FINAL SAY
Some men are not good shoppers.
I submit myself into evidence.
LOL.
But I learned.
Slowly.
Sometimes painfully.
Save the receipt.
Pay attention.
Remember the gift is for THEM.
And when you finally stumble across something that works…
celebrate the victory.
Those fake roses stayed beautiful.
The spray kept them smelling like roses.
My wife liked them.
I got on the scoreboard.
Case closed.
Well…
almost.
Because right before I went to sleep that night…
one final thought entered my mind:
Those roses may have fooled my wife for a minute…
but they would NEVER fool…
THE BIRDS OR THE BEES.
LOL.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you