Before judging another person’s journey, try standing where they stood.
You may not approve of every step they took.
But you will finally understand why the road looked different from their side.
We go about our daily lives focused on what we want, where we are going, and what must be done.
Then it gets interesting.
We interact with another person who is also coming and going, wanting, worrying, hoping, deciding, and carrying a world of their own.
Why spend time considering anything beyond ourselves?
Because interpersonal interaction is exactly that—two personal worlds meeting.
Approach it as a mysterious adventure.
WORTHY NOTE
As you begin exploring another person—the good and not so good—remember this:
Everyone entered this world as a loving infant, fresh from creation.
Nobody arrived cynical, resentful, suspicious, or hardened.
Something happened along the way.
PUT THESE MOCCASINS ON
We judge people.
That is something human beings do.
We assess behavior, interpret circumstances, notice danger, and decide whom to trust.
Discernment can be necessary.
But before rendering judgment about another person, try to experience their situation through empathy, curiosity, facts, and hopefully a form of loving concern.
Put on their moccasins.
Stand where they stood.
Look in the direction they were facing.
Consider what they knew at the time—not merely what you know afterward.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
Role reversal does not mean declaring every decision correct.
It means refusing to decide that you understand someone before attempting to view their world.
SPIDER SENSE
A wise old spider was once asked for his opinion.
Before answering, he reminded the person asking:
“I walk on floors, walls, and ceilings. I can even parasail upon the wind using my silk. Do you still want my opinion?”
The person said yes.
The spider replied:
“It depends on how you look at the subject.”
There is wisdom hanging from that web.
The floor to you may be a wall to the spider.
Your ceiling may be his highway.
What appears upside down from your position may be perfectly navigable from another.
Perspective is a way of seeing or thinking about a person, circumstance, or event.
A different point of view invites understanding—and quick judgment begins losing its authority.
OPINIONS
Opinions are useful for sharing, conversing, and exchanging ideas.
But when assessing another person or a serious event, opinion alone has limited value.
We may need facts.
We may need history.
We may need actual experience.
We may need to ask questions before announcing conclusions.
People often begin with:
“I think…”
Then they offer what they see, assume, or believe they know.
But sometimes the answer lives beyond our thinking.
It may be hiding inside the other person’s experience.
PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT
For best results, proceed as if you are stepping onto holy ground when entering another person’s story.
Ask meaningful, well-chosen questions.
Then allow patience while the answers come forth.
Do not ask a personal question and then rush the answer.
Do not interrupt because their explanation does not fit the conclusion you prepared beforehand.
Do not turn their vulnerability into your opportunity to lecture.
There is much happening in that moment.
Someone may be deciding whether you are safe enough to receive the truth.
VULNERABILITY
This is personal engagement with another of your own kind.
They may be hurting.
They may be puzzled.
They may have lost direction.
They may understand what happened but lack the words to explain it.
Vulnerability requires careful handling.
It is not weakness on display for our entertainment.
It is trust attempting to step forward.
If it is mocked, rushed, exposed, or used against the person later, it may retreat for a very long time.
TRUST
Entering another person’s world can feel almost surreal.
It is unexplored territory.
To enter and remain there, trust is required.
This moment—two people opening honestly to one another—is sensitive.
Act as if it is sensitive.
Because it is.
WORTHY NOTE:
Intimacy is a prize worthy to give and receive.
Vulnerability leads us to the door.
Honesty unlocks it.
Understanding waits inside.
ROLE REVERSAL IS NOT EXCUSE-MAKING
Understanding why someone behaved badly does not make the behavior acceptable.
Empathy does not erase accountability.
If someone deliberately harms another person mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically, or spiritually, safety comes first.
Name the harm.
Establish boundaries.
Seek appropriate help.
Role reversal is not meant to excuse abuse, require reconciliation, or force an injured person to understand the person who harmed them.
It is meant to promote deeper understanding where deeper understanding is safe, useful, and freely chosen.
You can understand a person’s history and still reject their conduct.
You can possess compassion and maintain a locked door.
COUNSELING
If you are called to help others—or wish to pursue such work—the real work begins.
Exploring another person’s journey is not easy.
It takes time.
It requires permission.
It depends upon trust.
The process often advances through slow, safe, steady steps.
Think:
SACRED GROUND.
A friend can listen, care, and remain present.
But serious trauma, abuse, mental-health distress, or danger may require a qualified professional. Loving someone does not automatically equip us to treat every wound.
Sometimes the most caring sentence is:
“This deserves more help than I know how to provide. Let us find the right person.”
CLIMBING AN INNER MOUNTAIN
Pain may have had years to ferment, fester, linger, and torment.
Unraveling it may require patient, caring time.
You do not climb an inner mountain by dragging someone toward the summit.
You walk beside them at a pace they can safely manage.
You pause when necessary.
You respect the terrain.
You recognize that some sections require an experienced guide.
If you force an unfinished matter open and then abandon the person inside it, the original problem may become compounded.
Tread carefully here.
HOW TO PROCEED
Six simple questions can open an enormous world:
WHO?
WHAT?
WHY?
HOW?
WHERE?
WHEN?
Ask respectfully.
Listen patiently.
Verify carefully.
Do not conduct an interrogation.
You are not trying to win a case.
You are trying to understand a life.
Questions such as these may help:
“What was happening from your point of view?”
“What did you believe your choices were?”
“What were you afraid might happen?”
“What did you need at that moment?”
“What do you wish someone had understood?”
“What would help now?”
The quality of the question often determines the depth of the answer.
PEARLS CONNECTION
Role reversal joins intimacy, humility, and fairness.
Intimacy says, “Let me know you.”
Humility says, “My view may be incomplete.”
Fairness says, “I will not sentence you using evidence I never bothered to gather.”
Together, they make room for something better than assumption.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Before you say, “I would never have done that,” remember:
You did not live that exact life.
You did not receive those exact wounds.
You did not stand at that exact intersection with only the information available in that moment.
Maybe you would have chosen differently.
Maybe not.
Put on the moccasins before bragging about how well you would have walked.
FINAL THOUGHT
We do not have to agree with everyone to understand them better.
We do not have to approve of every choice to ask what produced it.
And we do not have to surrender discernment in order to practice compassion.
Understanding does not weaken truth.
It gives truth a fuller view.
FINAL SAY
Another person’s world is not yours to invade.
It is yours to approach respectfully—when invited.
Enter with curiosity.
Walk with patience.
Listen without preparing the verdict.
Remember the wise spider:
It depends on how you look at the subject.
Change where you stand, and you may finally see what the other person has been trying to show you.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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