BUT WHAT YOUR SELF TELLS YOU…THIS IS UNIVERSAL LAW
We can talk ourselves into nearly anything when we want it badly enough.
The real test is whether truth, time and evidence agree with the story we want to hear.
Here is a Richie principle worth pondering:
It is not merely what you tell yourself—it is what your deeper self tells you after emotion becomes quiet, thinking is still, and your five senses at rest.
We can tell ourselves anything.
We can repeat it, decorate it and deliver it with tremendous confidence.
That does not automatically make it true, real or wise.
Sometimes we are not discovering truth.
We are conducting self-hypnosis with excellent enthusiasm.
IN NEED AND WANT
When someone wants or needs something desperately, emotion may begin working overtime.
Vanity joins the committee.
Imagination prepares the presentation.
Suddenly, we have talked ourselves into a purchase, relationship or decision that reality never approved.
Later comes the:
Ouch.
Boo-boo.
Or something requiring paperwork.
How deep?
Who knows?
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
Self-deception works best when we want something to be true more than we want to examine whether it is true.
Neediness can combine with ego and willfulness until warning signs begin looking like decorations.
A crossroads appears.
Instead of pausing, we announce:
“This has to be the right way because I want it to be.”
Wanting deserves a voice.
It should not receive the only vote.
AFTER THE FACT
Before and during temptation, the desired story can become persuasive.
Give impulse enough leash and it runs.
Afterward, reality may expose what excitement concealed.
Then we say:
“I knew something did not feel right.”
Perhaps something within us noticed—but desire spoke louder.
This is why important decisions benefit from time, questions, evidence and trusted outside perspective.
ALL THAT GLITTERS
It is not what we imagined something to be.
It is what it actually is.
Consumer protections, inspection periods, contracts and disclosure requirements help with major purchases.
The personal realm can be more difficult.
Hearts do not arrive with warranties.
Friendships do not include inspection reports.
People reveal themselves through time, consistency and conduct.
HE OR SHE LOVES ME?
Love is not proved by intensity alone.
Attraction, loneliness and hope may produce a powerful beginning—but lasting love requires more:
Respect.
Consistency.
Honesty.
Safety.
Responsibility.
Mutual effort.
Relationship failure is more complicated than one person merely “telling themselves” the wrong story. People change, circumstances change and relationships can end for many reasons.
Still, rushing past clear warning signs rarely protects the heart.
THERE ARE SYSTEMS IN PLACE
Courting, dating, friendship and time help reveal who a person is.
Observe how they treat others.
Notice whether words and actions agree.
See what happens when they are disappointed, corrected or denied what they want.
Fantasy can perform beautifully during a short audition.
Character appears throughout the season.
WORTHY NOTE
When meeting a person or possibility, your honest choices may include:
- I trust this.
- I do not trust this.
- I do not know yet.
“I do not know yet” is a complete answer.
What is the rush?
Relax and observe.
A TRUE STORY FROM MY REAL-ESTATE DAYS
Years ago, someone in my office became involved with an outside agent during a business transaction.
Those around her believed the man’s behavior was manipulative and warned her. She believed the relationship was sincere and traveled with him after the transaction closed.
The relationship ended quickly and painfully.
The lesson is not that she deserved what happened.
She did not.
The responsibility for exploitation belongs to the person who exploits.
The lesson is that loneliness, hope and intense attention can make warning signs difficult to see—especially from inside the experience.
Outside perspective cannot make the decision for us, but it may reveal what emotion has temporarily hidden.
WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARD
A betrayal can leave anger, resentment, grief and damaged trust.
We should not reduce a wounded person to how they appeared after being hurt.
Healing may require time, support, counseling, faith and compassionate relationships.
Pain changes people.
So can recovery.
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF
Consider:
- Buying something you cannot reasonably afford because you promise yourself it will somehow work out.
- Spending without considering tomorrow because the money happens to be available today.
- Ignoring warning signs because the opportunity feels exciting.
- Remaining passive because you call avoidance “peace.”
- Treating wishful thinking as evidence.
The story may feel good.
The consequences still read the facts.
WHAT YOUR DEEPER SELF TELLS YOU
Discernment brings several inner systems together:
Logic.
Reason.
Common sense.
Conscience.
Intuition.
Questions.
Objective evidence.
Trusted counsel.
Time.
None is perfect by itself. Intuition can be useful, but anxiety, trauma or bias may also create powerful feelings.
That is why we test the feeling rather than blindly obeying—or dismissing—it.
THE DISCERNMENT TEST
Before an important decision, ask:
- What do I know?
- What am I assuming?
- What do I desperately want to be true?
- Do actions support the words?
- What warning signs am I explaining away?
- What would I advise someone I love?
- What does time reveal?
PAUSE FOR CAUSE
Wanting is not evidence.
Intensity is not intimacy.
Urgency is not always opportunity.
And glitter still has not become gold.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Self-awareness begins when we stop asking only, “What story do I want?” and begin asking, “What do truth, time and conduct reveal?”
RICHIE SPEAKS
Your inner voice should not be the loudest impulse in the room.
It should be the quiet meeting place of truth, reason, conscience, experience and faith.
Listen past the story you want.
Relax.
Observe.
Ask.
Allow time to testify.
It is not merely what you tell yourself—but what your honest self reveals.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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