Wanting to be accepted begins with accepting yourself.
But authenticity requires more than saying, “This is who I am.”
It means knowing your gifts, admitting your weaknesses, honoring your standards, and correcting yourself when truth demands it.
Have you ever seen someone who was not acting like themselves?
Of course you have.
It stands out.
Something is either working—or not working.
But what does “being yourself” really mean?
For many people, the true self is a closely guarded secret.
Others rehearse a version they believe will be accepted, then become tired from continually performing it.
Wanting acceptance begins with you accepting yourself.
SELF-AWARENESS
Being yourself starts with paying attention to who and what you are.
What are your gifts?
Talents?
Abilities?
Skills?
Values?
Weaknesses?
When you understand and apply your strengths, they begin doing much of the work while you supervise.
Discovering them is well worth your time.
Attitude and self-awareness matter.
Leave ego and pride out of it.
Self-awareness does not say:
“I am better than everyone.”
It says:
“I am responsible for knowing and developing what has been placed inside me.”
WORTHY NOTE
Unworthiness, low self-esteem, and “I am not good enough” are lies making the rounds and looking for a home inside you.
Cast them out.
What remains?
Yourself.
Not a flawless self.
Not a finished self.
A real self—worthy of care, correction, development, and respect.
THE HEART—A PERSON’S INNER FRIEND
I gravitate toward things that make my heart sing.
Not every passing emotion.
Not every impulse of the mind.
I mean the deeper inner response that says:
“This belongs with who I am.”
I have learned that where the heart goes, I often need to pay attention.
Things I must tolerate are handled as quickly and efficiently as possible—also from the heart.
The inner being speaks.
When you listen wisely, it can reward you.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
Following your heart does not mean abandoning judgment.
It means allowing your deepest values to participate in the decision.
TICK-TOCK—I AM NOT A CLOCK
Find out what makes you tick.
Then observe what begins falling into place and what becomes naturally attracted to you.
When you know yourself, customers, relationships, work, and opportunities receive a clearer version of you.
Your world can become better because you made it so.
Taking charge of yourself is part of your duty.
No one else can permanently perform that responsibility for you.
BLAME
Blame often means we have stopped being accountable and responsible to ourselves.
Fault-finding walks a fine line.
If examining fault helps you become wiser, safer, or better, so be it.
If fault-finding exists only to pull another person into your loss or dysfunction, watch it.
You may compound your problem.
Accountability does not mean accepting responsibility for what belongs to someone else.
It means refusing to abandon the portion that belongs to you.
YOUR FIRST ALLEGIANCE
Your first allegiance is to the wondrous, one-of-a-kind creation called you.
Disrespect that creation and your personal stock begins to fall.
Credibility loss follows.
After that comes a general devolving of YOU.
You begin traveling in the wrong direction—inside and outside.
Your allegiance to yourself does not mean selfishness.
It means maintaining the integrity required to love, work, help, and serve without becoming false.
YOUR LESSONS
Visit honestly with your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, motivations, and values.
Bring them up to the bar of authenticity.
Even weakness must be acknowledged for honesty’s sake.
If you are impatient, admit it.
If you are frightened, admit it.
If you need help, admit it.
If you were wrong, admit it.
Authenticity does not require remaining weak.
It requires telling the truth about where growth must begin.
At some point, integrity joins you.
Now we are living.
BEING TRUE TO OTHERS
After doing inner work, you may become qualified to help another person through example, teaching, leadership, counseling, or ordinary support.
But the helper must continue examining themselves.
Counselors can need counseling.
Teachers must remain teachable.
Doctors can become sick.
A teacher of virtue can still require correction.
Someone who tells others to listen must also know how to listen.
If you need help, pause here.
Receiving help does not disqualify you.
Pretending you never need it may.
ANSWERING AND ASKING QUESTIONS
If you have ever testified, participated in a deposition, taught a subject, shared expertise, or asked another person to follow your direction, you must pass the first test:
Do you know what you are talking about?
Questions reveal much.
Answers reveal more.
Under pressure, oath, examination, or challenge, rehearsed appearances may weaken.
Understanding remains.
Being true requires enough humility to say:
“I know.”
“I do not know.”
“I was mistaken.”
“I will find out.”
THE REVERSE TEST
One of my favorite ways to examine a subject is to reverse it.
Suppose you are not true to yourself.
Suppose you do not care for or respect yourself.
How many healthy followers, relationships, or opportunities will that attract?
Self-respect is no myth.
It is your standard for living life.
When you continually violate your own standards for approval, the people accepting the false version are not accepting you.
They have never been properly introduced.
THE DIRTY-JOKE TEST
I happen to have little to NO tolerance for dirty jokes.
I will speak up.
Walk away.
Frown.
And allow my demeanor to express clearly:
NO to this!
The “who are you” remains preserved when you stand.
People do not like it?
TOO BAD.
You do not have to create a scene or humiliate another person.
But you do not have to laugh, participate, or betray your standards merely to make them comfortable.
Boundaries tell the truth quietly—or loudly when necessary.
ONE OF A KIND
We know how to treat items, places, and events possessing importance, significance, historical value, or rarity.
Gold.
Jewelry.
Classic automobiles.
Homes.
Vacations.
Priceless keepsakes.
We handle them with care.
How about beginning with you?
You are also one of a kind.
WORTHY NOTE: If your standards are high, high becomes your standard.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Authenticity is not permission to remain unchanged.
It is the courage to begin with the truth.
You cannot genuinely improve a person you continually pretend not to be.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Do not lower your personal bar merely because someone else finds it inconvenient.
But make certain the bar measures you first.
Before demanding honesty, be honest.
Before demanding respect, practice respect.
Before teaching, remain teachable.
Before judging another person’s standard, examine your own.
FINAL THOUGHT
Being true to yourself is not a performance of individuality.
It is alignment.
Your heart, words, conduct, beliefs, boundaries, strengths, weaknesses, and responsibilities begin recognizing one another.
The inside and outside stop introducing two different people.
FINAL SAY
THINE—yours.
IS THEE—you.
Be true.
Cherish yourself.
Correct yourself.
Stand as yourself.
People do not like the honest, respectful, accountable person you have become?
TOO BAD.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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