Sometimes the smartest thing a man can do…
Is pause.
Listen.
Learn.
And remember that not everything is about him.
Well…
I made it.
I survived.
I remain alive and reasonably well.
One of my greatest accomplishments in married life was successfully navigating menopause while my wife was going through it.
In case you think this only affects women…
Think again.
Everyone in the household gets invited to this party.
No exceptions.
HOW IT STARTED.
At first there were the hot flashes.
I was cold.
She was hot.
Then I was hot.
She was cold.
Then she wanted a blanket.
Then she wanted the blanket removed.
Then she wanted a fan.
Then she wanted the fan turned off.
Somewhere during this process I became aware that there were rules.
The problem was…
Nobody had given me the rule book.
Then came conversations.
I would say something completely innocent.
Or so I thought.
The response suggested otherwise.
Ancient history started surfacing.
Things from years ago.
Events I had long forgotten.
Apparently they had been archived in a secure location known only to wives.
I knew something was happening.
WHAT IS THIS?
When I started hearing stories from other couples, my curiosity took over.
Some women experienced mild symptoms.
Others experienced significant changes.
No two experiences seemed exactly alike.
That got my attention.
So I decided to do something unusual.
I educated myself.
BETTER LOOK INTO THIS RIGHT NOW.
I went to a bookstore and started reading.
Book after book.
Page after page.
I wanted to understand what my wife was experiencing.
Not from my perspective.
From hers.
That changed everything.
The more I learned, the less confused I became.
The more I understood, the more patient I became.
The more patient I became, the better our conversations became.
Knowledge is powerful.
But understanding is priceless.
FOR THE PRICE OF A BOOK.
I eventually purchased a book and brought it home.
Before I even showed it to my wife, I started discussing some of the symptoms and experiences I had been reading about.
Suddenly she stopped and looked at me.
“How did you know that?”
Bingo.
Now we were talking.
Now we were communicating.
Now we were standing on the same side of the problem instead of staring at each other across it.
That changes everything.
UNDERSTANDING IS LOVE IN WORK CLOTHES.
Many people think love is a feeling.
Sometimes it is.
But often love looks like effort.
Love looks like listening.
Love looks like learning.
Love looks like patience.
Love looks like trying to understand someone else’s experience even when you have never experienced it yourself.
That is where relationships grow stronger.
WHAT MEN SHOULD REMEMBER.
You do not have to fix everything.
You do not have to have all the answers.
You do not need a medical degree.
You simply need to be present.
Patient.
Supportive.
Interested.
Available.
And occasionally wise enough to keep your mouth shut.
That last one is highly underrated.
WHAT WOMEN SHOULD REMEMBER.
The people around you may not fully understand what you are experiencing.
Help them.
Teach them.
Guide them.
Remember that they are learning too.
Most people want to help.
They simply do not know how.
A little communication can go a long way.
FROM MEN A PAUSE…
TO MEN APPLAUSE.
Looking back, I learned something valuable.
Every major season of life asks something from us.
Marriage included.
The seasons change.
People change.
Bodies change.
Circumstances change.
Love adapts.
Love learns.
Love grows.
Love stays.
And sometimes the greatest wisdom is not found in speaking.
It is found in pausing.
Listening.
Learning.
And walking through the season together.
That approach worked very well in our home.
May it bless yours too.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you