You do not need permission to exist.
You do not need approval to participate.
You were invited into life.
Act like you belong here.
I have a friend who is constantly apologizing for just about anything.
If somebody disagrees with this person, rather than argue, defend, explain, or simply stand on what they believe, they apologize.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
After a while, you begin wondering:
What exactly are you apologizing for?
Being here?
That lack of self-confidence is not healthy.
A deep feeling of unworthiness is usually not something a person wakes up one morning and decides to adopt.
It often gets planted early.
Childhood criticism.
Being put down.
Being laughed at.
Being told to keep quiet.
Being made to feel like your presence is inconvenient.
Then the child grows up.
But sometimes the old message grows up with them.
WE ARE ALL GUESTS HERE
People who are unsure of themselves often attract people who reinforce that hesitation and doubt.
Why?
Because uncertainty announces itself.
And some people are more than willing to take advantage of it.
But here is something worth remembering:
No one needs another human being’s permission to live life.
A greater force invited us all here.
Nobody standing next to you issued your admission ticket.
Nobody at work.
Nobody in your neighborhood.
Nobody at the dinner table.
Nobody on social media.
You are already here.
That settles something.
Now what remains is how you are going to participate.
And while we are here, it is incumbent upon us to support one another toward the better.
Encourage.
Teach.
Correct when necessary.
Help when possible.
Make room.
That is simply the right thing to do.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
There is no shortage of opinions in this world.
Everywhere we go, something triggers thought.
Something catches our attention.
Something makes us say:
“Wait a minute.”
“What about this?”
“I see it differently.”
Good.
That means you are participating.
If you have something worthy to say, say it.
You do not need an applause meter first.
You do not need everybody to nod.
You do not need somebody important to validate the thought before it leaves your mouth.
Now use judgment.
Use kindness.
Use timing.
Use common sense.
But do not confuse being considerate with disappearing.
There is room for your voice too.
INVEST IN YOURSELF
If we do not believe in ourselves, who exactly are we assigning that responsibility to?
Someone else?
That is risky.
People come and go.
Opinions change.
Crowds turn.
Praise disappears.
If your entire sense of value is being held in somebody else’s hands, you have given away something that belongs much closer to home.
Invest in yourself.
Learn who you are.
Become better acquainted with your strengths.
Know your weaknesses without worshiping them.
Know what you believe.
Know what matters to you.
Know what you are willing to stand for.
And then BE that person.
Not an imitation.
Not the version somebody else finds easiest to manage.
Not a permanent actor trying to survive by playing the part everybody assigned you.
To know and be known is a deeply satisfying way to live.
Hiding while you are here is not living life.
It is cowering before it.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
For those of you who were berated…
put down…
made fun of…
dismissed…
or encouraged to keep quiet…
I say:
Enough of that.
Come out.
Receive your portion.
You have one too.
Take your place at the table.
Speak when you have something to say.
Try.
Participate.
Risk being imperfect.
Maybe your foot will find its way into your mouth once in a while.
Mine has made several visits.
LOL.
Maybe the joke does not land.
Maybe the statement comes out funny.
Maybe you walk into a room and immediately wonder why you opened your mouth.
So what?
Welcome to the human race.
Feel the discomfort.
Learn from it.
Recover.
Move forward.
That is the same learning curve everybody else is on.
Confidence does not mean never making a mistake.
Confidence means your mistake does not convince you that you never had the right to participate.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WIN EVERY ROOM
Here is something else worth understanding.
Having the right to be here does not mean everybody has to agree with you.
It does not mean every room will receive you warmly.
It does not mean every relationship belongs in your life.
It does not mean every opinion you have is automatically correct.
We are not building arrogance here.
We are building presence.
You can stand firmly without standing on somebody else.
You can disagree without declaring war.
You can say:
“This is what I believe.”
And still allow another person to say:
“This is what I believe.”
That is strength.
Real confidence does not need everybody else to become smaller.
STOP APOLOGIZING FOR YOUR EXISTENCE
There are appropriate apologies.
If you hurt somebody…
apologize.
If you make a mistake…
own it.
If you behave badly…
correct it.
But do not apologize because your opinion exists.
Do not apologize because you entered the room.
Do not apologize because you need something.
Do not apologize because somebody else is uncomfortable with your confidence.
Do not apologize for taking up the portion of life that belongs to you.
That is not humility.
That is self-erasure.
And there is a difference.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is the Richie version:
You have a God-given right to be here.
So stop acting like you sneaked in through the back door.
LOL.
Stand up.
Look around.
Participate.
Learn.
Make mistakes.
Correct yourself.
Love somebody.
Help somebody.
Say what needs saying.
Do what needs doing.
And when you do not know what you are doing?
Fine.
Join the rest of us.
You do not need perfection to qualify for life.
You need willingness.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Self-worth grows when we stop living entirely through other people’s approval and begin accepting our own right to participate in life. Healthy confidence does not mean arrogance; it means knowing that your voice, presence, ideas, and contribution have value while still respecting the rights and dignity of others.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This Pearl connects directly with transparency, credibility, common sense, and conscience.
Transparency says:
Be who you are.
Credibility says:
Let your word mean something.
Common sense says:
Pay attention.
Conscience says:
Choose the right way.
And this Pearl adds:
Do not hide the person who is supposed to practice all of that.
FINAL THOUGHT
We will not be back this way again.
That alone should wake something up.
Do not spend the whole visit asking whether you are allowed to be here.
You are already here.
Live well.
Speak honestly.
Stand respectfully.
Make your contribution.
And when life gives you an opening…
GO FOR IT.
Apologize for being here?
Not now.
Not ever.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you