There is usually a reason something failed.
Sometimes it was:
timing,
circumstance,
the market,
another person…
and sometimes?
IT WAS YOU.
That last one can be the most valuable answer of all.
There is usually a story available when something does not go right.
Sometimes the story is accurate.
Things happen.
Markets change.
People fail us.
Timing goes bad.
Circumstances interfere.
Fine.
But when the same disappointing result keeps showing up…
and YOU keep appearing in the middle of every version…
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
You may want to investigate the common denominator.
YOU.
Ouch.
LOL.
ADMIT IT OR IT OWNS YOU
Admitting an error to somebody else can be difficult.
Admitting it to yourself?
Sometimes harder.
Pride does not enjoy:
I MESSED THAT UP.
So the mind gets creative.
It develops a story.
Then another explanation.
Then an improved explanation.
Eventually…
the excuse has better production values than the original event.
LOL.
But until you can say:
HERE IS THE PART I PLAYED…
you cannot fully correct it.
And what you refuse to correct…
gets another opportunity to visit.
BRACE YOURSELF
There are two words that can change quite a bit:
NO EXCUSES.
Now let me qualify that.
NO EXCUSES does NOT mean:
nothing outside your control ever happens.
Of course it does.
Illness happens.
Bad timing happens.
Other people make decisions.
Markets turn.
Accidents occur.
NO EXCUSES means:
DO NOT USE WHAT HAPPENED AS A HIDING PLACE FROM THE PART THAT BELONGS TO YOU.
That is different.
You cannot control every condition.
You can examine your response to it.
THAT is where the power is.
NO EXCUSES
There.
Big letters.
I did not lose control of my font.
LOL.
I am making the point deliberately.
NO EXCUSES is not punishment.
It is ownership.
Instead of:
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
you begin asking:
WHAT CAN I LEARN?
WHAT WAS MY PART?
WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE?
WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
Those questions move.
Excuses sit.
SPECIAL NOTE
Some people hear NO EXCUSES…
and immediately get irritated.
Good.
LOL.
That may mean the two words just walked into a room where something was hiding.
Excuses are comfortable.
They protect pride.
They soften disappointment.
But they can also protect dysfunction.
That is the danger.
If the excuse keeps you from learning…
it has become expensive.
RUNNERS UP IN THE SHADOWS
Good intentions are valuable.
But sometimes…
they are not enough.
I MEANT WELL.
Fine.
Did it work?
I TRIED MY BEST.
Fine.
Was your best sufficient for what the situation required?
Sometimes yes.
Sometimes no.
That does not make you worthless.
It gives you information.
There are times when the world measures:
RESULTS.
The bridge either holds…
or it does not.
The check clears…
or it does not.
The customer receives the order…
or they do not.
Intent matters.
But outcome matters too.
COMMAND THYSELF
People have:
gifts,
talents,
abilities,
experience.
But having them and USING them effectively are two different things.
You can own a race car…
and drive it like a grocery cart.
LOL.
Potential is not performance.
A gift sitting unused is only inventory.
So ask:
AM I USING WHAT I HAVE?
AM I USING IT WELL?
AM I DEVELOPING IT?
That is self-command.
Not self-abuse.
There is a difference.
CHECK LIST
Take a look.
Are you:
spread too thin?
starting too many things?
finishing too few?
aiming at everything…
and hitting nothing directly?
That happens.
Busy feels productive.
But motion is not always progress.
What did you actually aim at?
What did you actually hit?
Near misses are useful for learning…
but eventually somebody has to hit the target.
After-dinner stories about ALMOST doing it are entertaining.
Pour me another.
LOL.
But if the target mattered…
go back and improve the shot.
WHAT TO DO? WHAT NOT TO DO
Take stock.
Identify:
your strengths,
your weaknesses,
your habits,
your blind spots.
Then do something useful with the information.
Strengths?
Develop them.
Weaknesses?
Improve them…
work around them…
or get help where necessary.
You do not need to become perfect at everything.
That is nonsense.
But you do need to know:
WHERE YOU ARE STRONG
and
WHERE YOU ARE NOT.
That saves enormous time.
THE THROWN SALAD PRINCIPLE
I have always liked this kind of story as an illustration.
Imagine a poor struggling stage performer who is so bad…
the audience throws vegetables.
Night after night.
Tomatoes.
Lettuce.
Maybe a cucumber if the performance was especially rough.
LOL.
Now…
one person says:
I AM A FAILURE.
Another says:
WELL…
I APPEAR TO BE VERY GOOD AT ATTRACTING SALAD.
LOL.
That is perspective.
Eat the lesson.
Improve the act.
Return tomorrow.
Today:
SALAD.
Eventually?
STEAK AND POTATOES.
That is the point.
Not every failure is a verdict.
Sometimes it is instruction wearing embarrassing clothing.
GET GOOD AT GETTING GOOD
This may be one of the most useful skills of all.
GET GOOD AT IMPROVING.
Mistake?
Study it.
Feedback?
Use it.
Failure?
Dissect it.
Success?
Study that too.
Ask:
WHY DID THAT WORK?
People often analyze failure…
then take success for granted.
Do not.
Success leaves clues too.
THE FIRST FAILURE MAY BE THE CHEAPEST ONE
There is a strange advantage to failing early.
Sometimes it saves you from failing BIG later.
A small mistake can expose:
bad planning,
poor assumptions,
weak skills,
wrong timing,
bad partnerships.
Good.
Find it while the price is still low.
That little failure may have just saved you a fortune.
Failure becomes expensive when:
we deny it,
repeat it,
or refuse to learn from it.
THE REAL QUESTION
Do not only ask:
WHY DID I FAIL?
Ask:
WHAT DOES THIS FAILURE NOW KNOW THAT I DIDN’T KNOW BEFORE?
That turns the event into information.
Now you have something.
Maybe the answer is:
I moved too fast.
I trusted the wrong person.
I did not prepare.
I ignored warning signs.
I lacked skill.
I quit too early.
Or…
I did everything reasonably well and the circumstance still went against me.
That happens too.
The lesson might simply be:
NOT EVERYTHING IS CONTROLLABLE.
That is valuable knowledge as well.
NO EXCUSES DOES NOT MEAN NO COMPASSION
Be careful here.
Ownership is powerful.
Self-beating is not.
You can say:
I MADE A BAD DECISION.
without saying:
I AM A BAD PERSON.
You can say:
I FAILED AT THIS.
without saying:
I AM A FAILURE.
Those are very different statements.
One evaluates an event.
The other condemns an identity.
Keep them separate.
STAY THE COURSE…BUT CHECK THE COURSE
People love saying:
NEVER QUIT.
I understand the spirit.
But sometimes quitting the wrong approach is exactly what wisdom requires.
Do not stay on a sinking ship just to prove your tenacity.
LOL.
Stay committed to the GOAL when the goal still makes sense.
But remain willing to change:
the method,
the timing,
the strategy,
the team.
Persistence without adjustment can become stubbornness.
That is not strength.
That is repetition.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is one Richie rule:
If the same problem keeps following you…
check whether YOU are carrying it.
Another:
Excuses protect the story.
Ownership improves the outcome.
And one more:
Failure is useful when it teaches.
Otherwise…
you just paid tuition and skipped the class.
LOL.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
From the spirit of Pearls for the Soul:
“Failure becomes valuable when it reveals what success will require next.”
From the spirit of God I AM:
“Ownership restores the power that excuses quietly give away.”
From the spirit of It Is Finished:
“Release the story that protects the mistake once the lesson is ready to be learned.”
PEARLS INSIGHT
Failure usually has multiple causes.
Some are:
internal,
external,
controllable,
or uncontrollable.
The most productive analysis separates them.
Ask:
WHAT WAS OUTSIDE MY CONTROL?
WHAT WAS WITHIN MY CONTROL?
WHAT WOULD I REPEAT?
WHAT WOULD I CHANGE?
That prevents two common mistakes:
blaming yourself for everything…
and blaming yourself for nothing.
Accurate responsibility is more useful than either extreme.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with THE ANSWER MAY LIE OUTSIDE YOUR THINKING…WHAT THEN?
Sometimes the first breakthrough is realizing your own approach needs examination.
It also connects with DOING WHAT MUST BE DONE…BUT THAT IS THE TEST.
Results often require acting after the lesson becomes clear.
And GOING AND GETTING PAST THE QUITTING STAGE reminds us that persistence becomes valuable when joined with adjustment and awareness.
FINAL SAY
Want to know why you failed?
GOOD.
That means you can learn something.
Look honestly.
No drama.
No shame.
No elaborate story.
Ask:
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT WAS MY PART?
WHAT WAS NOT MY PART?
WHAT DID I MISS?
WHAT DO I CHANGE?
Then use the answers.
NO EXCUSES does not mean pretending the world never interferes.
It means refusing to hide from the part you can improve.
That is where:
growth,
skill,
judgment,
and better results
begin.
Get good at getting good.
Let failure teach.
Let feedback work.
Let pride sit quietly in the corner for a while.
LOL.
Then get back out there.
Because the real failure is not missing once.
It is missing the lesson…
and asking for another excuse.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you