Anger can make us feel powerful at the very moment we are losing our power.
The problem may need solving.
The person may need correcting.
The wrong may need addressing.
But anger does not have to be invited along to help.
ANGER IS NOT GOOD ENERGY
I watch how people who cannot put into words what they are feeling sometimes take the shortcut and use emotion to express themselves.
Unfortunately, when the weapon of choice is anger, anger is often what comes firing back.
Now everybody is talking.
Everybody is feeling.
Everybody is reacting.
But is anybody understanding?
JUDGMENT LEADS TO ANGER
Anger is an interesting and revealing dynamic.
Very often we have already judged the person, their motives, the situation or what should have happened. Then anger arrives to enforce the judgment.
The original problem may have been manageable.
Now we have the original problem PLUS anger.
Why add a problem to your problem?
TIME OUT — MAKE IT YOUR FRIEND
When something happens, there is wisdom in taking a little time to assess before reacting.
Imagine falling into a three-foot hole.
You have a problem, yes.
But if you panic, thrash around, become angry and start digging in the wrong direction, that three-foot hole can become six feet deep rather quickly.
Now you have twice the problem.
Sometimes the first solution is simply:
STOP DIGGING.
THERE IS A TIME TO SOLVE IT
I wrote something years ago that remains one of my favorite Pearls:
“There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to see, yet small enough to solve.”
That is the time to act.
See it.
Address it.
Talk about it.
Correct it.
Learn from it.
But don’t feed it anger and make it bigger than it was.
ANGER LEAVES A STAIN
People who use anger to get things done may indeed get something done.
But look at what gets left behind.
I have watched parents make an excellent point to a child while angry.
Unfortunately, years later the child may not remember the excellent point.
They remember the anger.
The lesson got lost inside the delivery.
The same happens between husbands and wives, employers and employees, friends, strangers and even nations.
You can be right and still deliver your rightness wrongly.
TAKE A BREATH BEFORE TAKING ACTION
When the shock, insult, disappointment or unexpected blow arrives, give yourself a moment before answering it.
Not because the wrong doesn’t matter.
Because it DOES.
You want your response coming from the strongest part of you—not the hottest part of you.
Take a breath.
Walk a few steps.
Get quiet.
Assess.
Then return.
And when possible, do not return anger with anger.
That is how two people can turn one problem into ten.
ANGER IS ENERGY — BUT WHERE DOES IT TAKE YOU?
Anger may alert us that something needs attention.
Fine.
Let it ring the alarm.
But don’t necessarily let it drive the fire truck.
Once you recognize the problem, turn that emotional energy into something useful:
Understanding.
Communication.
Correction.
Boundaries.
Forgiveness.
Action.
Or simply walking away.
The goal isn’t to pretend you aren’t angry.
The goal is to prevent anger from becoming your decision-maker.
FINAL THOUGHT
You don’t prove your strength by how loudly you react.
Sometimes the strongest person in the room is the one capable of feeling the anger, understanding why it is there—and still choosing what happens next.
Solve the problem.
Don’t become another one.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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