Healing rarely begins where we wish it would.
It begins…
Where we finally become honest.
Truth is seldom comfortable…
But it is almost always the doorway to freedom.
HOLDING ON TO SOMETHING?
Part 2
In Part 1, we explored the principle of forgive and forget.
We discovered that genuine forgiveness eventually loosens the grip the past has on the present. Not because memory disappears, but because healing quietly takes its place.
If we refuse that journey…
Something else quietly begins growing.
Resentment.
Bitterness.
Spite.
Eventually pride joins them, convincing us that holding on somehow protects us.
It doesn’t.
It simply changes the prison.
Every day we continue feeding resentment is like taking another bite from a poisoned apple.
It appears to sustain us.
Instead…
It slowly consumes us.
HEALING REQUIRES COURAGE
Many people sincerely want to heal.
Few realize what healing asks of them.
Healing asks us to walk toward the very pain we’ve spent years avoiding.
Not to relive it forever…
But to finally understand it correctly.
Truth never asks us to remain in darkness.
Truth invites us into the light.
The journey isn’t easy.
Sometimes it becomes the hardest thing we have ever done.
Yet almost everyone who completes it says the same thing…
“I wish I had started sooner.”
A TRUE STORY
Someone once shared with me an experience from childhood.
Between the ages of eight and fourteen, whenever they disappointed their parents, severe beatings followed.
The punishment never fit the offense.
The mother would quietly say,
“You’re going to get it when your father gets home.”
The waiting became torture.
Every passing minute.
Every sound outside.
Every opening door.
Every approaching footstep.
Fear arrived long before the father did.
Eventually he entered.
The report was given.
The yelling began.
Then came the accusations.
The fists.
The belt.
Whatever happened to be nearby.
Something remarkable happened inside that child.
Not remarkable because it was good…
Remarkable because it was survival.
The child learned to disappear emotionally.
The body remained.
The spirit escaped.
Only after everything ended…
Did the trembling begin.
Then the bruises.
Then the blood.
Then the tears.
THE CHILD GREW UP…
THE TRAUMA DIDN’T
Years later…
That same child had become an adult.
Without realizing it…
They continued living from those childhood experiences.
Anger.
Fear.
Payback.
Survival thinking.
Hyper-vigilance.
Relationships became difficult.
Trust became fragile.
Everything finally made sense…
Once the original wound was understood.
The child had matured.
The injury had not.
RECOVERY BEGINS
Eventually…
That person chose another path.
Not revenge.
Recovery.
Not denial.
Truth.
Not pretending.
Healing.
Healing has no calendar.
Some people recover quickly.
Others require years.
Every person’s journey deserves respect.
There is no stopwatch on restoration.
WHEN I SERVED AS A RAPE COUNSELOR
I discovered the same pattern repeatedly.
Whether the assault occurred in childhood…
Or adulthood…
Life had been stolen.
Safety had been replaced by fear.
Trust by suspicion.
Joy by survival.
Helping someone recover required patience.
Compassion.
Truth.
Love.
And tremendous courage.
After two years of walking beside hurting people…
I realized something unexpected.
I needed counseling myself.
Not because I had become broken…
But because empathy carries weight.
Their suffering had become real to me.
THE COUNSELING ROOM
Something remarkable often happened during counseling.
A victim would begin sharing.
Then suddenly…
A mother remembered her own abuse.
A father.
A brother.
A sister.
An aunt.
An uncle.
Stories hidden for decades quietly surfaced.
Then…
People cried.
Not because they were becoming weaker.
Because they were finally becoming honest.
One person wept.
Another followed.
Soon the room became filled with tears.
No judgments.
No interruptions.
No speeches.
No entertainment.
Just truth…
Doing its quiet work.
There were tissues everywhere.
Long embraces afterward.
Weeks of gradual release.
Healing had finally begun.
WORTHY NOTE
Today there are excellent recovery groups specifically designed to help people recover from trauma and abuse.
Attend only when your heart is ready.
Healing should never be forced.
It should always be invited.
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY?
Actually…
No.
Walking into another person’s suffering requires enormous courage.
Counselors.
Therapists.
Pastors.
Volunteers.
They willingly enter difficult places because someone once entered theirs.
Every good helper understands something important.
Our discomfort never compares…
To the pain carried by the one seeking help.
That realization keeps compassion alive.
THE GOOD NEWS
No one escapes pain.
No one escapes loss.
No one escapes sorrow.
Some receive more.
Some receive less.
But every human being is invited toward healing.
The evil that occurred…
Never becomes good.
But good can emerge from what evil tried to destroy.
Truth.
Understanding.
Compassion.
Strength.
Freedom.
These become possible again.
FINAL THOUGHT
You are not defined…
By what happened to you.
You are defined…
By what truth is quietly helping you become.
If your healing journey has just begun…
Take heart.
You are not walking alone.
You are deeply cherished.
Wanted.
Loved.
Healing has been looking for you…
Far longer than you have been looking for it.
In Part 3, we’ll explore the spiritual side of healing and why forgiveness, justice, God, Jesus Christ, Adam & Eve, and the Ten Commandments all point toward one remarkable destination…
Freedom.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
Been expecting you