A setback means something interrupted your progress.
Defeat means you agreed to stop progressing.
Those are not the same thing.
It is over when you take your last breath.
Until then, we have responsibilities, opportunities, routines and stewarding duties—whatever they may be.
We still have LIFE to live.
Challenges to an aging body may appear, but so will WE.
The gift of living surpasses all other gifts. Act accordingly.
Live with a full cup—and may it spill over too.
UH-OH’S
Here they come.
Setbacks.
Unexpected challenges.
Losses.
Mistakes.
Wrong turns.
Plans that worked beautifully inside your head and fell apart five minutes after meeting reality.
Such is life.
Rather than dwelling endlessly on the step back or misstep, remember that something called self-preservation already lives within you.
It often begins working before you consciously instruct it.
The body protects itself.
The mind searches for another route.
The spirit begins looking for meaning.
You were built with recovery equipment.
USE IT.
THINK OR SINK
WORTHY NOTE:
Nothing is always as bad as excessive thinking makes it appear.
Mitigate the THINK/SINK.
A real problem deserves real attention. But the mind may enlarge the problem, replay it, decorate it and invite every imagined future disaster to join it.
One setback becomes:
“Nothing ever works.”
One rejection becomes:
“Nobody will ever accept me.”
One delay becomes:
“I will never arrive.”
Hold on!
The event may be real.
The additional catastrophe may be homemade.
Think enough to understand what happened—but not so much that thinking sinks the recovery boat.
ASSESSMENT OF SELF
When something does not go well, we possess the ability to question it.
What happened?
What was my part?
What should I improve?
What should I never repeat?
What can I begin again?
This is a natural, gracing process.
What interferes with it?
Excessive thinking and unleashed emotions.
Feel what you feel—but do not immediately appoint the feeling as commander.
Practice enough discipline to recover your senses.
Then—
TALLY HO!
That is mankind’s way.
We fall.
We assess.
We learn.
We rise differently.
GIVING UP?
Thoughts may appear that challenge your natural ability to navigate forward or rise above.
Be aware:
Not every thought deserves to be called YOUR thought.
Some are merely suggestions passing through.
A parade of fear, doubt, embarrassment and surrender visits everyone.
Watch it.
Observe it.
Do not join it.
Let the parade pass without climbing onto one of the floats. LOL.
The thoughts will come.
They will go.
YOU remain.
The present moment is your friend because it contains the next available choice.
DEFEAT?
Defeat is an intruder.
Let us begin there.
It does not receive a respectful seat at the table.
Give it a DOGGY BAG TO GO.
A setback may sit down briefly because it carries information. Defeat wants to move into the house, rearrange the furniture and tell you what your future will be.
NO.
There are rare times when wisdom says not to continue in the same direction. A dangerous, harmful or completely wrong path should be left behind.
Stopping one pursuit is not necessarily defeat.
Sometimes it is correction.
Sometimes it is maturity.
Sometimes it is God redirecting traffic.
Be certain you are stopping for the right reason—not merely because the road became uncomfortable.
BEAT DOWN
Life gives beatings.
Sometimes they arrive uninvited.
Other times, our own behavior helped place the order.
Being beat down may contain a lesson, correction or penalty for something we did.
Take the correction.
Learn the lesson.
Then MOVE ON.
Do not carry one consequence longer than its educational value.
Pain may be the teacher, but it does not have to become your permanent address.
MOVE AT YOUR PACE
Notice the constant message of conformity wherever you go.
Move faster.
Be like everyone else.
Reach the milestone at the expected age.
Recover according to somebody else’s schedule.
Do not be herded.
Some social structure is necessary so people can live together, but do not surrender your individuality to every passing expectation.
Beware of group hypnosis—and self-hypnosis.
Both can arrive as subtle suggestions we accept without examination:
“You should be farther ahead.”
“You are too old.”
“You missed your opportunity.”
“Everybody else is doing better.”
According to whom?
Move at YOUR pace.
A slow step forward still counts.
Rest may be part of progress.
Beginning again from a wiser position is not beginning from nothing.
BE REMINDED OF THIS
None of us has ever lived this exact life before.
It is one enormous learning curve filled with trial and error.
If parents or authority figures did not prepare you for everything that was coming—and how could they?—you may have to learn as you go.
So will everyone else.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
When you recognize that other people are also learning as they go, patience becomes possible.
Tolerance grows.
Forgiveness makes more sense.
They may not know what they are doing either.
Join the club.
QUESTION EVERYTHING
Questions are keys.
They unlock doors necessary to your personal journey.
Do not deny your created makeup. We are surrounded by wonder, mystery and awe partly so that we will question, explore and understand.
Ask:
What is this setback teaching me?
What remains within my control?
What can be repaired?
What must be released?
Who can help?
What is the next useful step?
Questions turn a wall into a doorway.
Not every answer arrives immediately, but an honest question directs the mind toward discovery instead of despair.
TEST EVERYTHING TO YOUR SATISFACTION
Inquiry helps you develop beliefs, modify existing ones and eliminate what no longer works.
Character develops through this process.
Character then reveals identity—the WHO you are becoming.
Do not accept every opinion, tradition, fear or limitation without testing it.
Does it produce truth?
Growth?
Peace?
Responsibility?
Does it make you stronger, wiser and more useful?
Or does it keep you stuck?
Test it.
Keep what proves worthy.
Release what fails the examination.
IDENTITY
You are not merely your thoughts, opinions or the things you repeatedly tell yourself.
NO.
Identity comes from deeper within.
It may take a lifetime to discover that truth.
But ask yourself:
What is “all my life” except the opportunity to make that discovery?
A setback may reveal a weakness—but it can also reveal strength you did not know was present.
The moment of difficulty does not automatically define you.
Your response begins shaping the definition.
WHO YOU ARE NOT
Begin by recognizing what you like and dislike.
Then observe what each choice does to you and for you.
Does it make you comfortable in a healthy way?
Does it help you evolve?
Does it leave you satisfied—or produce the opposite?
That is where you modify.
Small steps here.
Small adjustments there.
Discover what works best.
When a worthy truth proves itself, allow it to become a belief.
Beliefs go to work for you.
You live what you truly believe.
GO TOWARD THE PROBLEM
Let us move toward our problems.
We may lament.
We may inquire.
We may seek a remedy.
But let the desire to heal drive us from within.
Not merely:
“I wish this were not happening.”
Or:
“Why me?”
Instead ask:
“What now?”
“What can be learned?”
“What can be corrected?”
“What answer am I being invited to seek?”
Call out expecting an answer.
Then remain awake enough to recognize it when it arrives.
THE RECOVERY ORDER
When the next setback appears:
1. STOP THE SPIRAL
Separate what happened from everything fear predicts will happen.
2. ASSESS
Identify the facts, your responsibility and the lesson.
3. ADJUST
Change the plan, pace, method or direction.
4. ACT
Take one useful step—even a small one.
5. CONTINUE
Repeat until momentum returns.
You do not need to see the entire road.
You need enough light for the next step.
WORTHY NOTE
Somebody died so you could live.
Make it count.
Your life was purchased at too great a price to be surrendered casually to discouragement.
The cross appeared to be defeat.
It became victory.
That is a lesson worth carrying into every dark moment.
FINAL THOUGHT
A setback can delay you, redirect you, educate you or strengthen you—but it cannot permanently defeat you without your agreement.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Resilience is not pretending that pain, loss or failure does not matter. It is allowing the experience to teach you without giving it permanent authority over your identity or future.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
“We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.”
— Romans 5:3–4
PEARLS CONNECTION
Name one present setback.
Underneath it, write:
What happened?
What did it teach me?
What is my next useful step?
Then take that step before discouragement organizes another meeting.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Life may knock the cup over.
Let the PEARLS spill forward.
Pick them up as lessons, wisdom, patience, faith and character—then continue up the trail at your own pace.
FINAL SAY
SETBACKS?
Sometimes.
Wrong turns?
Certainly.
Learning curves?
Our entire lives.
DEFEAT?
Give it a doggy bag to go.
The moment is still your friend.
TALLY HO!
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you