When trouble shows up…
GO AFTER THE TROUBLE.
Not the people.
Kill the problem.
Protect the relationship.
Slay the dragon.
Not the person standing beside it.
That is the point.
When something goes wrong…
people have a tendency to start swinging at each other.
Blame.
Accusation.
Anger.
Defensiveness.
Then suddenly…
the original problem is still alive…
AND NOW WE HAVE THREE MORE.
LOL.
Stay focused.
Discipline yourself.
Finish what you started.
Find the real problem…
then put THAT in its place.
We were not put here to be defeated by every difficulty that shows up.
Use the resistance.
Use the pressure.
Use the lesson.
Let the fierce winds push you toward the solution…
not away from it.
HIDE AND BUY TIME?…NO NO NO
Putting your head in the sand only works until you need air.
LOL.
Sooner or later…
you have to come back up.
And guess what?
THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE.
Usually bigger.
Why?
Because time can strengthen unattended problems.
Bills grow.
Misunderstandings grow.
Repairs grow.
Resentment grows.
Small mistakes can become expensive mistakes.
Procrastination may buy time…
but sometimes it also gives the problem time to organize itself.
That is not a good trade.
THE RIVER IN EGYPT…THE NILE
DENIAL.
Da Nile.
LOL.
Denial is another expensive stop.
You can:
argue,
blame,
excuse,
explain,
deflect,
and point fingers…
but none of that automatically solves anything.
In fact…
it often feeds the problem.
A useful place to start is:
WHAT PART DID I PLAY?
That question is powerful.
Not:
WHO CAN I BLAME?
Not:
WHO STARTED IT?
Not:
WHO LOOKS WORSE?
Just:
WHAT PART IS MINE?
Handle that first.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
The part you own…
is usually the part you can change fastest.
WHAT TO DO…HERE IT IS
Move toward the problem.
Not blindly.
Not recklessly.
But deliberately.
Look at it.
Name it.
Break it down.
Ask:
WHAT IS REALLY WRONG HERE?
WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE?
WHO NEEDS TO DO WHAT?
WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP?
Now we are working.
That is much better than standing across the room yelling at the dragon.
LOL.
If the problem has the nerve to show up…
give it your full attention.
SWOOSH!
Not literally.
Figuratively.
Cut through the confusion.
INFECTS OUR LIVES
Some problems behave like infections.
Ignore them…
and they spread.
A small issue left untreated may become:
larger,
more painful,
more complicated,
and harder to resolve.
That is why early attention matters.
Deal with the little thing…
before it becomes the big thing.
This applies to:
money,
business,
relationships,
health,
communication,
maintenance,
and habits.
Do not wait until a warning becomes a crisis.
THE PERSON IS NOT ALWAYS THE PROBLEM
This is where many people go wrong.
A person makes a mistake.
Now the mistake becomes their identity.
HE MESSED UP
turns into:
HE IS USELESS.
SHE MISSED SOMETHING
turns into:
SHE NEVER DOES ANYTHING RIGHT.
Careful.
That is where repair becomes attack.
Correct the conduct.
Address the error.
Solve the issue.
But do not automatically destroy the person in the process.
People can improve.
Systems can improve.
Communication can improve.
The problem is the target.
KEEP IT THERE.
GAME TIME…SUIT UP PEOPLE
Is it easy?
Sometimes no.
Some problems are stubborn.
Some are frightening.
Some involve:
money,
ego,
trust,
fear,
or major consequences.
Fine.
Suit up.
Bring:
facts,
calmness,
patience,
skill,
help,
and a plan.
You do not defeat a serious problem by getting emotionally sloppy.
Get clearer.
Get steadier.
Get better prepared.
That is your armor.
THE SWORD IS CLARITY
You do not need an actual sword.
Your best weapons may be:
a question,
a fact,
a boundary,
a decision,
a phone call,
an apology,
a correction,
or simply:
NO.
That can cut through quite a bit.
LOL.
The sharper the clarity…
the less swinging around you have to do.
DON’T CREATE FRIENDLY FIRE
This is especially important when several people are trying to solve the same problem.
Family.
Coworkers.
Partners.
Spouses.
Teams.
Everybody may actually be on the SAME SIDE…
while fighting each other like enemies.
That is friendly fire.
Stop.
Ask:
ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE THIS…
OR WIN AGAINST EACH OTHER?
Very different goals.
If everybody attacks each other…
the problem sits quietly in the corner eating popcorn.
LOL.
SEPARATE PERSON FROM PROBLEM
Try this:
Instead of:
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
Say:
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
That tiny change matters.
Now both people can stand on one side…
and look at the issue together.
That is powerful.
It creates cooperation instead of combat.
GET GOOD AT THIS
The more problems you solve correctly…
the less frightening they become.
You begin recognizing patterns.
You know when to:
act,
wait,
ask,
call,
stop,
or change direction.
Experience gives you confidence.
And eventually…
people start bringing problems to YOU.
Why?
Because you no longer panic.
You assess.
You work.
You solve.
That is mastery beginning to show.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is one Richie rule:
Kill the problem.
Do not kill the relationship.
Another:
If everybody is fighting each other…
the problem is winning.
And one more:
A calm person with a clear plan is more dangerous to a problem than an angry person with a loud voice.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
From the spirit of Pearls for the Soul:
“Clarity gives the problem a name, while discipline keeps the people from becoming the target.”
From the spirit of God I AM:
“What is wrong can be confronted without turning the people involved into enemies.”
From the spirit of It Is Finished:
“End the cycle by removing the problem without carrying unnecessary destruction forward.”
PEARLS INSIGHT
Effective problem-solving depends on separating:
the issue,
the behavior,
and the person.
When people feel personally attacked…
defensiveness increases.
When the problem is clearly defined…
attention can shift toward:
facts,
responsibility,
options,
and resolution.
The practical goal is:
BE HARD ON THE PROBLEM.
BE FAIR WITH THE PEOPLE.
That combination usually produces better outcomes.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with THE PROBLEMS OF LIFE…YOU HAVE TO BE ALIVE TO HAVE THEM.
Problems are part of living.
It also connects with THE ANSWER MAY LIE OUTSIDE YOUR THINKING…WHAT THEN?
Sometimes a new viewpoint reveals that the real target was never the person.
And DOING WHAT MUST BE DONE…THAT IS THE TEST reminds us that once the problem is identified…
action must follow.
FINAL SAY
The dragon shows up.
Fine.
Slay the dragon.
Not the people standing around it.
Do not:
hide,
deny,
blame,
or procrastinate.
Move toward the issue.
Find your part.
Get the facts.
Make the decision.
Take the action.
Protect the people when you can.
Protect the relationship when it deserves protecting.
And keep the problem in the crosshairs.
Because if everybody starts attacking each other…
the real problem wins without lifting a finger.
So suit up.
Get clear.
Stay disciplined.
And remember:
SLAY THE PROBLEM…
NOT THE PEOPLE INVOLVED.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you