Dislike if you must.
Hate never.
Hatred works on its owner first.
How do we explain and use love and hate correctly?
Not only must you understand these powerful forces—you must understand what happens when you employ them.
Like it or not, love and hate are part of humanity’s journey on Earth.
Let’s zero in—pun intended—on what we do and why when rating people, experiences, and even a few cheeseburgers.
WORTHY NOTE: As we live our lives, we experience a range of feelings, expectations, emotions, gains, and losses. Some feel better than others.
All of them can change.
LET’S USE A 0–10 LOVE SCALE
Zero can mean impartiality, indifference, or objectivity.
It might also communicate:
“You do not presently rate very highly in my world.”
That is honest.
Someone can occupy a zero, one, or two on your love scale without being placed on a hate scale.
This allows you to express what you feel without allowing hatred to enter and take possession of you.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
There is a great difference between saying, “I do not like what you did,” and declaring, “I hate you.”
One addresses conduct.
The other begins poisoning identity—yours and theirs.
THE LOVE SCALE
Who occupies a ten on your scale?
Who receives that high honor?
Remember: mind your own scale and your own ratings. We will get to everybody else shortly.
If someone occupies the top position, you must mean it—not merely say it to get something.
A genuine ten can be seen.
It is expressed through loyalty, sacrifice, respect, patience, truth, presence, and care.
You own that rating.
THE TEN SLOT
- GOD
Now there is a worthy and safe ten.
But remember—no fluff, pretending, or showing off.
If God is your ten, your life should reveal the rating.
- YOUR SPOUSE
If this is true-blue love, I am happy for you.
If the rating was assigned only because you want something in return—NO!
That is negotiation wearing a love costume.
- YOUR FAVORITE FOOD
This is a safe and enjoyable category.
What food do you anticipate because it delivers pleasure, surprise, and satisfaction?
Cheeseburgers?
Pizza?
Barbecue?
Dessert?
All are welcome. Have some fun here.
- EXPERIENCES
Your ten might be a travel destination, a family gathering, a beautiful outdoor location, or an experience that reaches deeply into your emotions.
Still, ten is an elite position.
Do not hand it out like grocery-store coupons.
THE ONE SPOT
- GOING TO THE DENTIST
Look, you have to go—but it remains one of my least-favorite endeavors.
Sorry, dentists. Nothing personal.
- PAIN
Medical professionals often ask us to rate pain from one to ten.
They understand the scale because your number quickly communicates your experience.
- YOUR JOB
If you dislike what you do, here comes a one.
You watch the clock and cannot wait for the day to end.
That rating is valuable information. It might be telling you that something needs to change.
- A PERSON
For the moment, somebody may occupy the one position.
Notice that I said “for the moment.”
There need not be a permanent tag.
BETWEEN TWO AND NINE
Everything between two and nine is subjective.
You may place someone or something wherever it honestly belongs at the time.
Do not be phony.
Be real.
Here is an example: I have known women who appeared to love their pets more than their husbands.
On their scale, the dog scored an eight while the husband was fortunate to receive a four.
The dog knew it too. LOL.
Ratings can change because circumstances, understanding, behavior, and people change.
THE HATE SCALE
Now we enter dangerous territory.
The hate scale can range from serious resentment to wishing destruction upon another person.
Here is the warning:
Hatred works on you first and foremost.
When you hate with vengeance, it changes your demeanor, character, thinking, and identity.
The toxicity lives inside you.
You may believe hatred is punishing another person while it is actually occupying your thoughts, disturbing your peace, and draining your life energy.
YOUR spirit and soul are now carrying the weight.
WORTHY NOTE: The hate scale takes away and creates inner injury.
“I don’t like you” may sometimes be an honest statement.
But why not place that person low on the love scale instead of constructing an entirely separate scale devoted to hate?
WHAT HATRED COSTS
- COMMON SENSE BECOMES CLOUDY
Hatred interferes with reason, intuition, perspective, and logic.
Why?
Because hatred wants to judge the entire person from one position.
You begin playing God—and that position is already taken.
- YOUR IDENTITY CHANGES
Hatred requires explanation, excuses, denial, and constant feeding.
Your first impression begins communicating bitterness before you have said a word.
- THE GENUINE PERSON GETS BURIED
The real, open, and childlike part of you becomes covered by the false identity hatred needs to survive.
You no longer respond naturally.
You respond through the wound.
- SMARTER LEAVES AND HARDER ARRIVES
Inner and outer stress become normal.
But hatred is not your natural condition, so you must keep feeding it.
That requires energy.
Your peace weakens.
Your joy diminishes.
Your life becomes harder.
WORTHY NOTE: Judgment and condemnation feed ego and pride for the worst.
A person can become addicted to hating.
Outrage gives a temporary rush, but the bill eventually arrives.
SUMMARY OF THE LOVE-HATE SCALE
As long as you refuse to hate, resent, abuse, or condemn another person, you remain on the love scale—even if that person presently receives a one or a two.
The number does not have to be high.
The commandment to love one another does not require pretending that harmful behavior is acceptable.
Love can tell the truth.
Love can establish boundaries.
Love can walk away.
Love can seek protection.
Love can assign a low rating without becoming hatred.
WORTH REPEATING
As long as you do not hate, you remain on the love scale.
Do not love or particularly like someone?
Rate the person lower.
Remember that people can move on the scale because people change—and you change too.
Time, perspective, repentance, understanding, and forgiveness travel with us.
Remain open to this.
I love everyone until I have a reason to adjust the rating.
But hate?
Never—for my sake as much as theirs.
FINAL THOUGHT
Hatred does not prove how deeply another person hurt you.
It reveals how much continuing authority the injury has been given.
Reclaim that authority.
Set the necessary boundary, learn what must be learned, and refuse to become the permanent home of someone else’s wrongdoing.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Dislike can establish distance.
Wisdom can establish boundaries.
Hatred establishes residence inside the person carrying it.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
A continuing message throughout Pearls for the Soul is that whatever we repeatedly feed within ourselves grows stronger.
Feed resentment and it demands more resentment.
Feed truth, wisdom, forgiveness, and appropriate boundaries—and the soul begins breathing again.
PEARLS CONNECTION
The Pearls formula does not demand false affection.
It asks you to examine what occupies your inner life.
Be honest about the rating.
Correct what can be corrected.
Protect what must be protected.
Then choose the response that feeds your soul rather than poisons it.
RICHIE SPEAKS
You do not have to like everybody.
But hatred?
That is too expensive—and you are the one paying the bill.
FINAL SAY
Use the love scale.
Let ten mean something.
Let one remain honest.
Allow ratings to change when people and circumstances change.
Dislike if you must.
Keep your boundaries.
Tell the truth.
But do not build a hate scale and then stand on it yourself.
Hatred works on its owner first.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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