You can see your strengths.
You can see many of your mistakes.
But what about the part of yourself…
YOU CANNOT SEE?
That is the blind side.
And sometimes everybody else has a better view of it than you do.
There are things we do consciously throughout the day.
Personal things.
Professional things.
Decisions.
Habits.
Reactions.
Choices.
All of them produce:
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
Hopefully, we are doing the right things.
And when we monitor ourselves honestly, we can often tell.
But here is the problem:
WHAT IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW?
What if you are moving through life believing everything is fine…
While something you cannot see is quietly interfering with your results?
Now we have something worth investigating.
RESULTS DON’T LIE
I have said this before.
Results tell a story.
Whatever the story is.
If something repeatedly works…
That is information.
If something repeatedly fails…
That is information too.
You can explain.
Excuse.
Analyze.
Rationalize.
But eventually the result sits there saying:
HERE I AM.
LOOK AT ME.
Results can expose what our opinions hide.
LACK OF RESULTS TALKS TOO
No result is also a result.
Business plan not working?
Relationship repeatedly breaking down?
Employees keep leaving?
Customers keep complaining?
Same conflict keeps returning?
Goal never gets finished?
Interesting.
Maybe the problem is outside of you.
Sometimes it absolutely is.
But perhaps a better question is:
WHAT PART OF THIS MIGHT BELONG TO ME?
That question opens the door to awareness.
DENIAL DOES NOT LIKE THAT QUESTION
Denial is powerful.
Pride can help it.
Ego can help it.
And together they can create a very comfortable explanation:
EVERYBODY ELSE IS THE PROBLEM.
Now you are safe.
Except for one thing.
You may also be stuck.
Because if the problem is always somewhere else…
You never have to change anything.
That is how a blind side can survive.
YOUR BLIND SIDE
A blind side is something about yourself that others may notice before you do.
Tone.
Attitude.
Habit.
Body language.
Communication style.
Defensiveness.
Arrogance.
Avoidance.
Interrupting.
Not listening.
Overreacting.
Maybe even something positive that you do not recognize in yourself.
It is called blind for a reason.
YOU CANNOT SEE IT DIRECTLY.
That does not mean it is not there.
BE OPEN AND AVAILABLE
The first defense against a blind side is openness.
Not gullibility.
OPENNESS.
There is a difference.
Openness says:
I AM WILLING TO LOOK.
I am willing to hear something uncomfortable.
I am willing to consider that my first explanation may not be the only explanation.
That is maturity.
FEEDBACK AND INPUT
Human beings need mirrors.
Literal mirrors show us what we cannot see directly.
Feedback can do the same thing.
That is why I value:
INPUT.
OBSERVATION.
FEEDBACK.
Not from everybody.
Not randomly.
But from people who have enough experience with me to notice patterns.
Sometimes another person’s eyes can reach where mine cannot.
CHOOSE YOUR MIRRORS CAREFULLY
This matters.
Do not become emotionally vulnerable to everybody with an opinion.
Some people are wise.
Some careless.
Some jealous.
Some perceptive.
Some projecting their own issues onto you.
So choose carefully.
Ask people who:
Know you.
Want your good.
Tell the truth.
Have demonstrated judgment.
Are willing to say something you may not enjoy hearing.
That combination has value.
ASK GOOD QUESTIONS
Instead of:
“Do you think I’m doing okay?”
Try:
“What do you see me doing that gets in my own way?”
“What is something I may not see about myself?”
“When do I become difficult to work with?”
“What do I do well that I should do more often?”
“Is there a pattern you notice in me?”
Now we are getting useful information.
BE PREPARED TO HEAR SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE
This is where it gets interesting.
You ask for feedback.
They answer.
And suddenly your mind says:
THAT’S NOT TRUE.
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
Careful.
You just asked them to show you what you cannot see.
If your first move is to defend everything…
You defeated the purpose.
DO NOT ARGUE WITH FEEDBACK YOU REQUESTED
You do not have to agree.
You do not have to accept it as truth.
But first:
RECEIVE IT.
Say:
“Thank you.”
Then think.
Let it sit.
The urge to immediately defend yourself may actually be useful information.
Why did that comment hit so hard?
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
Look at it later.
COMPARE FEEDBACK WITH RESULTS
This is where feedback becomes more reliable.
One person says something?
Interesting.
Three unrelated people say the same thing over time?
MORE interesting.
The comment also matches repeated poor results?
Now we may have a pattern.
That is where you stop asking:
DO I LIKE THIS FEEDBACK?
and begin asking:
IS THERE EVIDENCE FOR IT?
That is a much better test.
IF IT IS FOR YOU… IT WILL HAVE WEIGHT
Some feedback lands strangely because there is something true inside it.
You may not like it.
But it follows you.
You think about it later.
You begin noticing examples.
Then:
AHA.
There it is.
That is growth trying to enter.
IF IT IS NOT FOR YOU… LET IT GO
Not every criticism deserves residence.
Some comments are inaccurate.
Some come from misunderstanding.
Some tell you more about the speaker than about yourself.
Fine.
Do not absorb everything.
Receive.
Examine.
Use evidence.
Then keep what is useful and let the rest roll away.
LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK.
PEOPLE SOMETIMES TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES WHILE TALKING ABOUT YOU
This is another fascinating part.
Someone may give you feedback…
And reveal themselves at the same time.
They say:
“You always…”
But as they continue, you realize much of what they are describing belongs to their own patterns.
That does not mean dismiss them immediately.
Listen.
There still may be something useful.
Feedback is a two-way mirror more often than people realize.
YOUR BLIND SIDE CAN PROTECT BAD HABITS
This is why the blind side matters.
What you can see…
You can address.
What you cannot see…
Can remain comfortable for years.
It can hide:
Bad habits.
Weaknesses.
Dysfunctional patterns.
Poor communication.
Repeated mistakes.
That is why awareness becomes so valuable.
LIGHT CHANGES THINGS.
THE MORE CAPABLE YOU ARE… THE MORE CAREFUL YOU SHOULD BE
This may sound strange.
Intelligence can help you solve problems.
But intelligence can also help you explain away your own behavior.
Talented people can become very skilled at defending themselves.
Successful people can begin assuming:
IF I AM SUCCESSFUL HERE…
I MUST BE RIGHT EVERYWHERE.
Not necessarily.
Ability can create its own blind side.
Stay teachable.
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET FOR A REASON
We sharpen one another.
Other people see things from angles unavailable to us.
A spouse sees one version.
A child another.
Employee another.
Friend another.
Client another.
That does not mean all of them are correct.
But together they can provide a wider field of vision.
That is valuable.
THE GOAL IS NOT SELF-CRITICISM
Do not turn this into:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That is not the point.
The point is:
WHAT AM I NOT SEEING?
Sometimes the answer may even be a strength.
You may underestimate your:
Influence.
Kindness.
Leadership.
Courage.
Ability.
Blind sides can hide good things too.
The goal is ACCURACY.
SEE YOURSELF MORE CLEARLY.
FINAL THOUGHT
You cannot correct what you cannot see.
And sometimes you cannot see it alone.
So ask.
Listen.
Receive.
Compare.
Observe the results.
Then decide.
Do not give your pride the job of protecting every part of you from examination.
That keeps the blind side blind.
Instead, become curious.
WHAT DO OTHERS SEE THAT I DON’T?
The answer may sting for a moment.
But awareness can save you years.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Blind spots in self-awareness occur when people have difficulty recognizing aspects of their own behavior, communication, strengths, or limitations that are visible to others. Constructive feedback can help reveal these patterns, particularly when similar observations come from multiple trusted sources and align with repeated outcomes. Effective feedback requires both openness and discernment: receive it without immediate defensiveness, evaluate the evidence, and distinguish useful information from projection or misunderstanding.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
A recurring principle throughout Pearls for the Soul is:
BRING THINGS INTO THE LIGHT.
What remains hidden can continue operating.
What becomes visible can be examined.
Awareness does not automatically change us.
But it gives us the opportunity.
And that opportunity is priceless.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This Pearl connects directly with:
HOW TO INCREASE YOUR PERSONAL AWARENESS
DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR… CAUSE, CURE AND EFFECT
and
YOU HAVE THE WORDS BUT NOT THE MUSIC… DO YOU SPEAK UP?
One teaches us to observe ourselves.
One deals with hidden patterns.
One teaches us how to offer truth without unnecessarily shutting another person down.
Together they form a powerful loop:
OBSERVE.
ASK.
LISTEN.
ADJUST.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Want feedback?
GOOD.
Then don’t ask for it and argue with the answer.
Listen.
Say thank you.
Go home.
Think.
If three people are telling you the same thing…
LOOK AGAIN.
Maybe everybody else isn’t crazy.
Maybe you finally found the blind side.
And if the feedback is wrong?
Fine.
Let it roll away.
But at least you looked.
FINAL SAY
A mirror does not insult you.
It shows you what is there.
Good feedback can do the same thing.
Choose the mirror carefully.
Then have enough courage to look.
STOP PAYING NO MIND TO BEING BLIND.
You are greater than that.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
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