An excuse must first convince the person making it—and then it goes looking for someone else to convince.
You can listen without accepting the bait.
YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN.
YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN
Here is a subject that causes discomfort—first for the person making the excuse and then for anyone else it can rope in.
Have you ever heard someone enthusiastically pitch an excuse as if it were the gospel truth?
Before a person can do this, they must first convince themselves.
Then, to make it stick, they must convince you too.
OWNING UP
Admitting what went wrong—or how something could have gone better—does not occur easily to someone living in denial.
No.
A story is manufactured and edited using the mind, emotions and five senses. Drama, scenarios and conjecture are added.
In other words, a story unfolds!
It is interesting to note that maintaining this story requires a lot of work.
WHY DOES SOMEONE MAKE EXCUSES?
Pride wants to feed, and an excuse is a quality snack—or an entire meal—depending upon whether the person wants to cook up a storm or tell a little white lie and be done with it.
An excuse is a mixture of thinking, blaming and accusing, wrapped in denial and rejection of reality.
In other words:
THE TRUTH IS NOT WELCOME HERE.
THE BLAME GAME
When someone opens their skills bank and commands it to tell a whopper or perform the blame deed, the result can be overwhelming and even convincing.
It may come across as the final word about what actually took place.
However, something in the other person’s toolbox is not buying it.
They may not be able to explain why.
They simply know something smells fishy!
THE GAME
If the person spinning the tale can get you to take the bait—or get you to argue—they have already accomplished their purpose.
Participating in gibberish, fairy tales and “that doesn’t make sense” scenarios only gives the excuse more attention.
Listen if necessary, but do not become a character in someone else’s mini-series.
You can calmly say:
YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN.
THE FIVE-WORD BOMB
You may say those five words with firmness, eye contact or simple calmness.
There is no need for anger.
There is no need for a courtroom drama.
The words go to work because they return the excuse to its rightful owner.
You are no longer arguing with it, carrying it or being asked to approve it.
FURTHERMORE
The excuse-maker is returned to their own world and must face two choices.
First, they can enlarge the whopper and launch an all-out attack to support an incredible tale that is already failing.
Second, they can pause, ponder, consider and finally admit that something is not right.
Repent?
Perhaps.
At least reality has been invited back into the room.
IF SOMEONE UPS THE WEAK TALE
I am out of there.
The conversation is over.
This creates a significant “look at yourself” moment for the whopper-teller—and it should.
I leave the person to recover their senses and obey their own conscience.
There is no permanent escape.
Excuses have a very short life span.
Really good excuses—which means really bad ones—usually die horrible deaths.
IF SOMEONE GIVES IN
If the person making excuses comes to their senses, stops the farce or admits something is missing, I become their advocate and friend.
Now I want to help solve the problem and move forward.
Why?
Who has not made a mistake and wanted a way out of it?
The person willing to tell the truth deserves an opportunity to correct what can be corrected.
HERE IS WHAT THE EXCUSE-MAKER FEARS
- EMBARRASSMENT
We all know how uncomfortable embarrassment can be.
Enough said.
- PENALTY
Paying the moral, personal, professional or legal price for an error is not something people rush to do.
- PRIDE
The ego must admit the mistake, lose face, examine its credibility and visit with humility.
That can be a difficult appointment to keep.
LETTING PEOPLE SLIDE
I have met people in many situations who, when something fails or does not go right, immediately begin their mini-series explanation.
One of the first things I see is someone who may not have been corrected, coached or counseled when they needed it.
Others allowed the behavior to slide and left the person for someone else to deal with.
Eventually, both the excuse-maker and the next victim have their hands full.
Someone must care enough to stop the cycle.
THE BUCK MUST STOP BEING PASSED
Telling the truth can be painful.
However, it is usually short-term pain with a long-term reward. Sometimes it becomes liberating right there and then, with no lingering aftereffects.
I simply know that truth works.
It is a good investment in every way.
When we perpetuate an error, we prolong the loss, misery and confusion.
Yes, we do.
HAVING NO EXCUSES
A person who becomes good at having no excuses has worked up to it.
The rewards are apparent and worthy.
That person becomes lighthearted, transparent, approachable and pleasant to be around. Accountability develops into a character trait that others can trust.
The world of no excuses is the true one.
Here, you will not be excused—
You will be embraced.
FINAL THOUGHT
An excuse may protect pride for a moment, but truth protects your character for a lifetime.
Own what belongs to you.
Correct what you can.
Learn what the experience came to teach.
Then move forward lighter than you arrived.
PEARLS INSIGHT (SEO)
Making excuses delays personal growth because excuses replace accountability with blame. Honest self-examination, accepting responsibility and correcting mistakes build trust, integrity and healthier relationships.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
“The world of no excuses is the true one. Here, you will not be excused—but embraced.”
PEARLS CONNECTION
Is there an excuse you have been maintaining that requires more energy than simply telling the truth?
You do not have to announce your answer to the world.
Begin by being honest with yourself.
RICHIE SPEAKS
I am not asking anyone to be perfect.
I am asking that we stop turning our mistakes into a mini-series and inviting everyone else to audition for a part.
Tell the truth.
Correct what you can.
Then let us solve the problem and move on.
FINAL SAY
Excuses ask others to carry what belongs to us.
Accountability picks it up, learns from it and puts it where it belongs.
YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
Website: https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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