Want to get really good at ignoring people?
There is only one thing you need to know.
DON’T.
Because one of the smallest things we can give another human being is acknowledgment.
And sometimes that small thing is not small at all.
Everywhere we go, two things seem to be true.
There are PEOPLE everywhere.
And there WE ARE…right there among them.
Yet I have noticed something.
The more crowded the world becomes, the easier it seems for people to become invisible to one another.
We pass.
We enter.
We leave.
We sit next to each other.
We stand in elevators together.
We walk through stores.
We attend meetings.
We live next door.
And sometimes we act as though nobody else is there.
When we begin taking one another for granted, our own private world can become a very lonely place.
Let me share something with you.
WHAT DO YOU FIND HARD TO DO?
I once asked someone:
“What is your biggest challenge in life?”
Their answer surprised me.
They said:
NAVIGATING THROUGH ALL THE DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES.
At the time, I didn’t think much about it.
But the statement stayed with me.
As I traveled through life and got more exposure to people, I began understanding exactly what they meant.
People are complicated.
Different backgrounds.
Different temperaments.
Different moods.
Different experiences.
Different expectations.
Different ways of communicating.
Some people are outgoing.
Others are shy.
Some want conversation.
Some want space.
Some are friendly.
Some appear cold.
Some are carrying something you know absolutely nothing about.
Navigating personalities really can be a challenge.
But there is one thing we can do before we ever try to understand somebody.
ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.
I ABSOLUTELY DISLIKE THE FOLLOWING
Have you ever walked into a room…
And nobody acknowledged you?
Have you ever been standing with somebody when another person walked over, started talking to your friend, and acted as though you weren’t even standing there?
How about a restaurant?
A store?
A neighborhood?
A social gathering?
A family event?
A business meeting?
Introductions are being made…
And somehow YOU get left out.
There you are.
Standing six feet tall.
Breathing.
Visible.
Human.
Yet somehow invisible.
I don’t like it.
More importantly…
I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE.
Because acknowledgment costs almost nothing.
But being ignored can cost somebody more than we realize.
I AM UP HERE… UP HERE
I cannot tell you how many people I have passed who are looking directly at the floor.
Head down.
Eyes down.
Completely withdrawn.
Now sometimes there are perfectly understandable reasons for that.
A person may be tired.
Preoccupied.
Sad.
Shy.
Distracted.
Thinking.
Or they simply may not want interaction.
Fair enough.
But there is another possibility.
Sometimes we develop the habit of withdrawing so far into our own private world that we slowly disconnect from the world around us.
And that can become its own kind of isolation.
Every now and then…
LOOK UP.
There is an entire human race walking around with you.
TOOLS FOR THE PEOPLE TRADE
We don’t need to become everybody’s best friend.
We don’t need to stop strangers and tell them our life story.
We don’t need to force conversation.
We don’t need to invade another person’s privacy.
But there are simple tools available to us.
When passing someone on the street…
Walking down a hallway…
Going to your car…
Entering a room…
Standing in an elevator…
Attending church…
Shopping…
Working…
Or simply moving through life…
Here is about the minimum we can do:
1. EYE CONTACT
A brief glance can say:
I SEE YOU.
Nothing more is required.
2. A GESTURE
A little wave.
Thumbs-up.
Prayer hands.
A slight hand gesture.
Sometimes no words are necessary.
3. A NOD
The universal language of:
HELLO.
I SEE YOU.
WE’RE GOOD.
4. A SMILE
A smile does not require a conversation.
But it can change the temperature of a room.
5. A GREETING
Good morning.
Good afternoon.
Hello.
How are you?
Nice to see you.
Simple.
Human.
6. A STATEMENT
Nice weather.
Elevator is slow today.
Traffic is something else.
Great hat.
Beautiful dog.
Nothing profound.
Just a bridge between two people.
7. LOOK AWAY
This one is important too.
You acknowledge somebody…
Then you give them their space.
That is part of good social interaction.
Recognition does not require intrusion.
VALIDATION OF A HUMAN BEING
There is something deeply human about being acknowledged.
You matter enough to be seen.
You exist in this space with me.
I recognize that.
Human beings have been doing this since human beings first encountered one another.
You can take the symbolism all the way back to Adam recognizing Eve.
Another person appears.
And immediately there is recognition:
THERE YOU ARE.
That is powerful.
Because acknowledgment is one of the simplest forms of validation.
It is also a form of honesty.
You know the other person is there.
They know you are there.
Why pretend otherwise?
SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
The more you practice acknowledging people, the more natural it becomes.
And something else happens.
YOU BEGIN ENJOYING PEOPLE MORE.
You start noticing expressions.
Personalities.
Humor.
Kindness.
Quirks.
Little moments.
You discover that the world isn’t populated merely by strangers.
It is populated by PEOPLE.
The clerk.
The waiter.
The person walking the dog.
The elderly neighbor.
The kid holding the door.
The person sitting alone.
The employee cleaning the floor.
The person standing beside you in line.
Every one of them has a story.
You don’t need to know the story.
Sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge the storyteller.
DON’T CONFUSE ACKNOWLEDGMENT WITH OBLIGATION
There is an important distinction.
Acknowledging people does not mean you owe everyone a conversation.
You are allowed boundaries.
You are allowed privacy.
You are allowed to keep walking.
You are allowed not to engage when something feels inappropriate or unsafe.
Human connection should never require abandoning good judgment.
But most everyday situations do not require anything dramatic.
A glance.
A nod.
A smile.
HELLO.
That is often enough.
FINAL THOUGHT
We spend a great deal of time wanting to be recognized…
Respected…
Included…
Seen…
And understood.
Maybe one of the easiest ways to bring more of that into the world is to give some of it first.
You never know what another person is carrying.
Your acknowledgment may mean nothing to them.
Or…
It may be the nicest thing anybody has done for them all day.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Human acknowledgment is one of the simplest forms of social connection. Eye contact, greetings, smiles, gestures, and brief respectful interactions can reduce social isolation and reinforce a sense of belonging without demanding lengthy conversation. Healthy human interaction begins with recognizing that the people around us are not scenery—they are participants in life just as we are.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
A recurring idea in Pearls for the Soul is that life is not lived only inside ourselves.
We encounter one another for a reason.
Sometimes the lesson is not complicated.
SEE THE PERSON.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE PERSON.
Then continue on your way.
A little humanity goes a long way.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This Pearl connects with the larger ideas of awareness, respect, credibility, kindness, and human interaction.
It also connects directly with:
HOW TO INCREASE YOUR PERSONAL AWARENESS
The more aware you become of your surroundings, the more aware you become of the PEOPLE occupying those surroundings.
Awareness eventually moves beyond noticing things.
It begins noticing people.
RICHIE SPEAKS
So…
How do you get really good at ignoring people?
I can answer that entire question with one word.
DON’T.
Look up.
Make eye contact.
Give a nod.
Smile.
Say hello.
Then go about your business.
You may have just reminded somebody:
I SEE YOU.
And sometimes…
THAT IS ENOUGH.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
pearlsforthesoul.com
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