BE SEATED BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS… PLEASE MY HEAD HURTS TRUE STORY

The movie had started.

I had the seat I wanted.

The lights were down.

I was completely absorbed.

Then an elderly gentleman grabbed my head.

TWICE.

At that point…

I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE AND SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN ONE.

I was sitting in a large movie theater.

Good seat.

Comfortable.

The previews had finished.

The opening logos came and went.

And now…

THE MOVIE HAD STARTED.

I like being settled before a movie begins.

The opening scenes matter.

The first few minutes establish the characters, the mood, the setting and often the entire direction of what is coming.

So there I was.

Focused.

Comfortable.

Eyes on the screen.

All my pleasure sensors engaged.

YOU HAVE BEEN THERE TOO

You know that moment.

The theater disappears.

The people around you disappear.

You are no longer thinking about the parking lot, the popcorn, the ticket or what you were doing twenty minutes earlier.

You are IN the movie.

I was completely engrossed in one particular scene when suddenly…

SOMEBODY GRABBED MY HEAD.

Not tapped me.

Not brushed against me.

GRABBED MY HEAD.

Now that will bring you back to reality rather quickly.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

I turned enough to understand what was happening.

An elderly gentleman was trying to make his way through the dark theater.

He couldn’t see well.

He stumbled.

And as he began going down…

MY HEAD BECAME THE HANDRAIL.

THINK.

It was either my head…

Or he was heading toward the floor.

So from his perspective, apparently my head was the better option.

IF YOU HAVE EVER TRIED TO FIND YOUR WAY IN THE DARK…

It is not a cakewalk.

A movie theater can be extremely dark once the film begins.

Steps.

Seats.

People’s legs.

Cup holders.

Different levels.

And if your eyesight isn’t great to begin with, navigating all of that can become a real challenge.

So I understood what had happened.

But understanding it did not make the experience any less surprising.

MY GLASSES!

There was another factor.

I wear glasses.

I have worn them since I was about seven years old.

When you depend on glasses to see, you learn early:

PROTECT THE GLASSES.

At the time, the pair I was wearing represented a substantial investment.

So when someone suddenly grabs the area around your head and face…

A little alarm goes off.

MY EYES.

MY GLASSES.

MY FACE.

Whoa.

This gentleman had entered some highly protected personal real estate.

LIVE 3-D

Then something else happened.

The scene playing on the screen somehow lined up with what was happening to me physically.

There I was watching a dramatic moment…

While somebody unexpectedly grabbed me from behind.

For a second it was surreal.

Part movie.

Part reality.

I thought:

THIS IS LIVE 3-D.

Forget the special glasses.

Apparently the next generation of cinema would include people physically entering your row and grabbing your head.

There may actually be a market for that.

But I would recommend warning the audience first.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I whispered to the gentleman:

“Sir, are you all right?”

He did not really answer.

He was wobbling.

Still trying to regain his balance.

Remember…

It was dark.

I could see better than he could, but I could not completely see what was happening either.

Then he released my head.

Good.

Recovery.

I thought the incident was over.

It wasn’t.

HEADS UP

A few moments later…

HE GRABBED MY HEAD AGAIN.

Same head.

Same gentleman.

Same problem.

At this point I started laughing.

What else are you going to do?

Déjà vu.

Combined with…

HEADS UP.

Pun fully intended.

I finally said:

“Sir, let me help you.”

I loosened his grip from my head and transferred it to my hands.

Then I stood.

Steadied him.

Helped him pass.

And made sure he could get to his seat.

Meanwhile…

THE MOVIE IS STILL PLAYING.

I have absolutely no idea what is happening on the screen anymore.

I AM WATCHING A MOVIE AND… AT THE SAME TIME… I’M IN ONE

That thought hit me immediately.

Here I was watching a story…

while another story suddenly developed around me.

And mine had no script.

No director.

No rehearsal.

No retake.

Just:

ACTION.

An elderly man loses his balance.

Your head becomes a safety device.

What do you do?

Sometimes life gives you about half a second to find out.

THEN IT WAS OVER

He got seated.

I sat back down.

I wondered for perhaps a nano-second:

Is he all right?

Did anybody else see that?

Did I disturb anyone?

What exactly just happened?

And before I could analyze much of anything…

THE MOVIE PULLED ME BACK IN.

Just like that.

Life resumed.

YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYTHING… ANYWHERE… AT ANY TIME

That incident stayed with me.

Not because someone grabbed my head.

Although admittedly that makes the story easier to remember.

What interested me was getting to observe MYSELF.

Unexpected event.

No preparation.

No warning.

How did I react?

Did I get angry?

Did I become completely distracted?

Did I embarrass the gentleman?

Did I make the situation worse?

Or did I adapt?

I stayed relatively calm.

Checked whether he was all right.

Realized he needed help.

Helped him.

Sat back down.

Resumed what I had been doing.

For that particular performance…

I gave myself an A.

LIFE GIVES POP QUIZZES

We spend a lot of time preparing for the things we expect.

Meetings.

Appointments.

Trips.

Presentations.

Projects.

But some of the most revealing moments arrive without an appointment.

The car breaks down.

Someone falls.

A stranger needs help.

Something spills.

A customer loses their temper.

The power goes out.

Someone grabs your head in a movie theater.

POP QUIZ.

No preparation.

Now we find out what you actually carry inside.

Patience?

Humor?

Awareness?

Compassion?

Anger?

Panic?

Adaptability?

You don’t always know until something unexpected presses the button.

HELP FIRST… ANALYZE LATER

Sometimes we overthink situations that need immediate action.

The gentleman was falling.

That was the important thing.

Not:

Why did he come in late?

Why didn’t somebody help him?

Why is he walking this way?

Why is he grabbing me?

Those questions could wait.

He needed stability.

So first:

HELP THE MAN.

Then figure everything else out.

That principle travels well beyond movie theaters.

When something needs doing…

DO WHAT NEEDS DOING.

Analysis can come afterward.

DON’T LOSE YOUR CENTER

The unexpected has a way of trying to steal the rest of your day.

One thing happens.

Then we replay it.

Complain about it.

Tell everybody about it.

Get angry about it again.

And again.

Pretty soon a thirty-second event owns three hours.

Why?

The event ended.

We didn’t.

That is where returning to center matters.

Handle what happened.

Learn what is useful.

Then resume your journey.

In my case…

THE MOVIE WAS STILL PLAYING.

HUMOR HELPS

I also learned something else.

Sometimes laughter is the best transition between surprise and recovery.

The second time he grabbed my head…

I laughed.

Not at him.

At the absurdity of the moment.

Because it WAS funny.

You can have compassion and still recognize comedy.

Life contains both.

Sometimes simultaneously.

FINAL THOUGHT

Life will occasionally interrupt the movie.

When it does…

LOOK AROUND.

See what is really happening.

Help if help is needed.

Stay centered.

Learn something about yourself.

Then return to your seat and continue.

Life is good.

Life is to be lived.

But if at all possible…

BE SEATED BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS.

Pretty please?

PEARLS INSIGHT

Unexpected situations reveal how effectively we regulate attention, emotion and behavior under pressure. Adaptability involves recognizing what actually requires attention, responding appropriately, helping where needed, and then returning to the original task without allowing a brief disruption to control the rest of the experience. Everyday interruptions can therefore become useful tests of awareness and composure.

PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS

A recurring idea throughout Pearls for the Soul is that life teaches while it is happening.

The lesson does not always announce itself.

Sometimes it arrives in a classroom.

Sometimes on a mountain.

Sometimes through another person.

And apparently…

Sometimes it grabs you by the head in a dark movie theater.

The classroom is wherever you happen to be paying attention.

PEARLS CONNECTION

This Pearl connects directly with:

USE PROBLEMS, CHALLENGES AND SURPRISES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

and

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR PERSONAL AWARENESS

The surprise provides the test.

Awareness notices what is happening.

Character determines the response.

Then experience becomes the teacher.

RICHIE SPEAKS

The movie starts.

I’m comfortable.

I’m focused.

Everything is perfect.

Then somebody grabs my head.

TWICE.

What do you do?

Help the guy.

Laugh a little.

Learn something.

Sit back down.

And keep living.

You don’t have to let every interruption become the rest of the story.

Life is good…

BUT PLEASE…