You can change your clothes, your hairstyle, your car, your credentials—even the impression you make when entering a room.
But you cannot outsource the “WHO YOU.”
Sooner or later, what is inside introduces itself.
New clothes. New hairstyle. Jewelry, makeup, shoes, smelling good, a new car, travel stories, friends, education, schooling, a trade, a degree, and certifications.
Who can deny the feeling of looking good and wanting acknowledgment of the same?
All these things serve a purpose. The world’s systems promote them because they can make us more attractive personally and professionally.
But now slow down.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
WHO ARE YOU?
You are not merely everything that has been added to you.
Those things decorate the shell. They can enhance your presentation, and it is your privilege to enjoy them. But the person inside that shell—the one who feels, wants, thinks, searches, ponders, loves, fears, likes, dislikes, and needs—has to eat too.
IN FACT
All the outside pluses can be worth ZERO if, the minute you open your mouth, there is confusion, no identity, no boundaries, and no genuine sense of who you are.
I am not talking about ignorance.
I am talking about realness.
CANNOT OUTSOURCE THE “WHO YOU”
When people converse, exchange ideas, and share life with you, they compare what they experience on the inside with the impression they received from the outside.
When the two do not line up, you enter the world of mixed messages and self-sabotage. Then you scratch your head wondering why the results are not coming.
WHAT ARE PEOPLE LOOKING FOR?
Different people want different things—and not all of them are good.
When the outside is trying too hard to impress, it can quietly announce that the inside does not believe it is good enough.
That is worth pausing over.
WE PUT OUT WHAT IS IN
The person inside is always emanating something.
Others may not be able to explain what they are picking up, but they feel it. Hunger, neediness, confusion, hurry, weakness, confidence, posture, eye contact, fear, and inner peace all communicate.
Hiding them is nearly impossible.
Why?
Because it is you.
THE MIXED MESSAGE
Your inner condition can attract another person’s inner condition—or their agenda.
Someone may want to know you, love you, use you, help you, avoid you, or take advantage of you. What you carry inside can attract or repel, depending on the work you have—or have not—done within yourself.
WORTHY NOTE: People who are very different from each other often attract.
THE OTHER WAY AROUND
When you have done some inner work, the value becomes YOU—not merely what has been added to you from the outside.
Having both is optimum. Look good, learn, grow, achieve, and enjoy life.
But do not confuse accessories with identity.
Real character cannot be rushed, manipulated, purchased, or controlled. It requires flow, honesty, experience, and naturalness.
Keeping it real—literally.
Conform or rebel?
Conforming people can become passive, predictable, and too accepting of circumstances. Rebellious people cherish individuality, pioneering spirit, and a cutting-edge existence.
How about a healthy mix?
BEING TRANSPARENT
Allowing yourself to be seen without guile, agenda, or play-acting requires courage.
You risk exposing who you are—and who you are not.
Many people do not want others to know who they are. They want others to know the person they are pretending to be instead.
FEARS DISTORT THE PROCESS
Caution is not always wasted, but fear can turn caution into a hiding place.
“I am not good enough.”
“What if I am rejected?”
“What if they discover my flaws?”
“What do I do now?”
That is a lot of energy spent working against yourself.
Who is anybody, really, to question the value of another person’s life?
The key to knowing others lies in knowing yourself.
FLAW ABOUNDS
Flaws are everywhere and in everyone.
If you spend your days looking for them, you will find them. But I warn you: you may become critical and negative while neglecting your own life.
Let us pursue being more carefree.
Vanity becomes offended by that because vanity depends upon a carefully maintained story. Do not add another lie to the one you have already been telling yourself.
PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT LIST
- What do I like—and what don’t I like? Own the honest answer today while remaining open to change.
- What are my strengths and weaknesses?
- Why am I fearful? Fear can become an intruder that was never invited but was repeatedly allowed inside.
- Stop doubting what you know to be true. Even if you boo-boo, you lived!
- Love yourself. Those who genuinely love themselves are often loved wherever they go—with no forced effort.
- Lend everyone your ear, but not always your mouth. Listen first. Decide later what is important.
- Learn to answer the question “Why me?” spontaneously—and own your answer.
ALL PERSONAL WORK PAYS OFF
Character is formed. Morals join in. Confidence becomes a friend. Awareness begins to like you. Fun starts looking for you.
Mystery, adventure, and unknowns become knowns.
Whatever portion has been assigned to you in this lifetime will come looking for the person prepared to receive it.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Improving the outside may change how people first see you. Improving the inside changes what they experience once they truly know you.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Enjoy the clothes, the education, the car, and the compliments. Just remember: none of them can speak for you forever.
Sooner or later, the “WHO YOU” walks into the room.
FINAL SAY
Do not spend your entire life decorating the house while leaving the person who lives inside it hungry.
Build a better you—starting and ending within.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
Been expecting you