AN UP AND DOWN SEE-SAW FROM HELL
Pleasure is not the problem.
The problem begins when ordinary life no longer feels like enough.
Whatever you get into may eventually get into you—and then who is pursuing whom?
Why go up only to come down?
We understand why people pursue planned, inviting and anticipated pleasure.
A day at a ball game. An outdoor adventure. Good food, a favorite drink and the company of people we enjoy.
We reach for the gold ring—sometimes with gusto—and give very little thought to what follows.
That is perfectly normal.
Pleasure is part of life.
But when every ordinary day must be lifted into a special event, the up-and-down cycle begins.
WHATEVER YOU GET INTO GETS INTO YOU
This process can be subtle.
You pursue an experience because it is allowable, enjoyable and available.
Nothing wrong with that.
But while you can pursue almost anything, the pursuit may eventually get a turn with you.
The activity enters your expectations.
The expectation enters your habits.
The habit begins influencing your choices.
What began as something you enjoyed can become something you require in order to feel all right.
Now who is controlling whom?
THE CRAVING TO REPEAT
A pleasurable experience naturally invites repetition.
“That was wonderful. Let’s do it again.”
Still normal.
The warning appears when repetition stops being a choice and begins behaving like a command.
The person keeps returning, not simply because the experience is enjoyable, but because being without it now feels empty.
Spontaneity decreases.
Ordinary life becomes a waiting room between rewards.
The reward system that once added something to life begins running the life.
WORTHY NOTE: There is a difference between enjoying something again and needing it again in order to escape yourself.
PLEASURE WITHDRAWAL
When a person can obtain nearly anything, “less is more” may quietly become:
More is needed.
The first luxury delights.
The tenth becomes expected.
The hundredth produces a shrug.
This can happen with money, shopping, travel, attention, entertainment, food, possessions or any experience repeatedly used to create a better “now.”
The pursuit grows while the pursuer becomes less satisfied.
Having more does not automatically create contentment.
Sometimes it simply creates a larger appetite.
THE SIMPLE LIFE
A simple life does not mean a dull life.
It means receiving life as it comes—with occasional highlights, pleasures, accomplishments and good fortune—without demanding that every hour entertain us.
Enjoy the celebration.
Enjoy the trip.
Enjoy the beautiful meal.
Then allow Tuesday afternoon to be Tuesday afternoon.
It does not need fireworks.
WORTHY NOTE: Steady as she goes does not disappoint. A healthy journey can include rises and dips without becoming extreme or binding.
THE IN-BETWEEN TIME
Between manufactured highs, some people encounter boredom, restlessness, dissatisfaction, impatience and fantasy.
Instead of examining those feelings, they create another high.
Another purchase.
Another trip.
Another screen.
Another meal.
Another drama.
Another distraction.
The new stimulation becomes a temporary escape from the present.
But the present does not disappear.
It waits.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE
Can you sit quietly without immediately reaching for something?
Can you hold a meaningful conversation without checking a device?
Can you enjoy an ordinary day without deciding it must be upgraded?
These are not punishments.
They are useful questions.
NEW HIGHS
Human beings have more ways than ever to stimulate, entertain and pleasure themselves.
Many are acceptable and enjoyable.
The issue is not whether something is allowed.
The issue is what it does to you when repeated without awareness or moderation.
Sex, food, alcohol, shopping, praise, luxuries, travel, gadgets, status, wealth and power may all become forms of excess when they are used to escape, prove worth or create constant stimulation.
The pleasure eventually stops.
Then the longing begins.
The person does not merely miss the experience.
They miss the version of themselves they felt while having it.
EVERY NEW HIGH LEADS TO A NEW LOW?
Not as a mathematical law.
A joyful afternoon does not guarantee a miserable evening.
But the higher we force an experience above ordinary life—and the more we rely upon it—the flatter ordinary life may appear afterward.
That contrast creates the low.
What once satisfied us now seems plain.
What once delighted us now requires an upgrade.
The thrill rises while appreciation declines.
That is the Twilight Zone side of constant pleasure-seeking.
The person keeps climbing because coming down feels dreadful.
So they live in continuous pursuit of distraction—a life forever reaching for the next scene.
CAN’T GET ENOUGH
Shoes, clothing, jewelry, pampering, gadgets and every other glittering reward may be enjoyed.
But when “enough” disappears, appreciation often disappears with it.
Possession becomes ordinary.
The unusual becomes expected.
The reward becomes a requirement.
No time-outs.
More and more—plus always.
WORTHY NOTE: Having everything—or having your way constantly—can turn into plain old HO-HUMNESS.
Imagine having so much that nothing can surprise you.
There is a poverty hiding inside that abundance.
SAMPLE, VISIT WITH AND ENJOY
All things may be available, but who wants all things?
There are some things I want nothing to do with.
I enjoy variety, new experiences, exploring and adventure—but I want to dictate when they enter my life.
I do not want them dictating to me.
Sample.
Visit.
Enjoy.
Then go home to yourself.
The in-between times are precious too.
They allow reflection, gratitude, conversation and the quiet development of the person who is having all these experiences.
WHEN “NEW” BECOMES NECESSARY
Someone caught in the pursuit of new highs may struggle to sit still, remain present or hold a meaningful conversation.
Their mind is always searching for something capable of producing a better now—or helping them escape the now they already have.
Impulse replaces intention.
Distraction replaces attention.
Stimulation replaces satisfaction.
The tragedy is not that the person experiences pleasure.
The tragedy is that they gradually lose the ability to experience peace.
THE ARGUMENT
People may say:
“It is allowed.”
“It’s my life.”
“Everyone is doing it.”
“It feels good.”
“I’m not harming anyone.”
“I work hard, so I play hard.”
Those statements may all be true.
They can fill the outside of a life.
But beware of something operating quietly in the background:
Poverty of spirit.
That occurs when the outside is constantly fed while the soul receives too little nourishment to perform its work—now and in the days to come.
WORTHY NOTE: If you feed the soul, you feed everything.
MODERATION TO THE RESCUE
Here is where we can have at it—whatever “it” may be—with respect for the experience and ourselves.
Moderation protects character while allowing the mental, emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual parts of life to develop together.
Moderation does not prohibit pleasure.
It keeps pleasure in its proper place.
It allows you to enjoy the high without becoming terrified of the ordinary ground beneath it.
PEARLS INSIGHT
Balance is not a life without excitement.
Balance is the ability to enjoy excitement without requiring it.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Have the experience.
Enjoy the reward.
Take the trip and celebrate the occasion.
Then come home.
Sit still.
Talk with someone.
Be grateful.
Discover whether your ordinary life is still able to feed you.
If it cannot, another high may not be the cure.
FINAL SAY
Pleasure should visit your life—not take it hostage.
Enjoy the high points, learn from the low points and value the steady ground between them.
Steady as she goes.
You may discover that peace does not feel like a high or a low.
It feels like freedom.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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