Try this little experiment.
Talk…
and SMILE at the same time.
At first it may feel strange.
Then something begins to change.
For the best results on this…
go find a mirror.
Stand in front of it.
Then start talking.
Here is the catch:
I want you to SMILE while you are talking.
That’s right.
For those of you too eager…
or too lazy…
to go find a mirror…
just start speaking out loud wherever you are and try smiling while you do it.
Begin now.
Feel the effect.
Notice what happens to:
your face,
your voice,
your tone,
your energy.
Something changes.
SMILE OR GUILE?
If you are clenching your mouth…
you are probably not doing it right.
Or…
you may simply be engaging muscles that have not been getting enough work.
LOL.
If it feels awkward…
good.
That means you have discovered the learning curve.
Maybe you suspect you look phony.
Maybe you feel like you are forcing it.
Maybe you think:
“I look ridiculous.”
Fine.
Practice.
You do not become natural at something by refusing to be awkward at the beginning.
THE SMILING CURVE
You have to reach the point where the smile no longer requires instruction.
The mouth begins operating from memory.
Not command.
At first, your brain may be saying:
SMILE NOW.
KEEP SMILING.
DON’T DROP THE SMILE.
That is work.
Later…
the whole thing becomes automatic.
That is the difference between practicing something…
and owning it.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
Do not be discouraged during startup.
Practice privately.
Use the mirror.
Talk.
Read something out loud.
Say:
GOOD MORNING.
HOW ARE YOU?
NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU.
Notice what works.
Then keep going until the smile belongs there naturally.
NOT EVERYTHING THAT SMILES IS GOLD
Now…
there is a catch.
The smile and the words have to MATCH.
You cannot smile through everything.
Some words do not belong with a grin.
Some subjects require seriousness.
Some conversations require empathy.
Some moments require stillness.
Saying:
GOOD MORNING
with a smile…
works.
Saying:
I AM REALLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS
with a giant grin…
probably not.
LOL.
The expression has to harmonize with the meaning.
That is where judgment comes in.
The smile should support the message…
not fight with it.
IT WORKS BEST ON AUTO-PILOT
Mastery comes when you are smiling and talking without thinking about it.
Now the smile has become part of your communication style.
Your business life may benefit.
Your professional life may benefit.
Your relationships may benefit.
And you may even notice a little spring in your step.
Why?
Because facial expression and tone work together.
People respond to the WHOLE person.
Not merely the words.
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED IT IN ACTION
I have seen this naturally in preschool teachers.
They speak to children with warmth.
They smile.
They bend down.
They make eye contact.
Then the parents walk in…
and that same openness continues.
Very inviting.
Very pleasant.
And often…
the teachers do not even realize they are doing it.
It has become part of their natural way of relating.
You see the same thing at:
birthday parties,
family gatherings,
friendly businesses,
restaurants,
receptions,
and places where people genuinely enjoy interacting.
The smile becomes part of the welcome.
HERE IS CONCLUSIVE PROOF
Now for the great test.
Sing:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
First…
without smiling.
Go ahead.
Try it.
You will sound like somebody just received a jury summons.
LOL.
Now sing it again…
while smiling.
There it is.
The whole thing changes.
The words are the same.
The melody is the same.
But the delivery changes.
That is the point.
WHAT PEOPLE HEAR IS MORE THAN WORDS
People do not only hear vocabulary.
They hear:
tone,
energy,
pace,
attitude,
emotion.
And they see:
eyes,
mouth,
expression,
posture.
That is why a smile can influence communication.
It changes the package carrying the words.
Sometimes the message is:
WELCOME.
Sometimes:
I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU.
Sometimes:
YOU CAN RELAX HERE.
That can be powerful in business.
It can be powerful in relationships.
It can be powerful with strangers.
A natural smile says something before the sentence is finished.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is one Richie rule:
If your face is arguing with your words…
people may believe your face first.
Another:
A smile should not be pasted on.
It should grow into the conversation.
And one more:
Practice privately until warmth becomes natural publicly.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
From the spirit of Pearls for the Soul:
“Communication begins before the words arrive.”
From the spirit of God I AM:
“What is carried within often appears first through presence, expression and tone.”
From the spirit of It Is Finished:
“Release the tension that does not belong in the moment and let the message arrive clearly.”
PEARLS INSIGHT
Smiling can influence how communication is perceived because people respond to more than language alone.
Facial expression, vocal tone, pacing and body language all contribute to the message.
The goal is not to smile constantly.
The goal is congruence.
When the expression fits the words, communication feels more natural and trustworthy.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE SPEAKS TOO.
The words may be correct…
but the tone can change the entire meaning.
It also connects with FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
A smile can influence how quickly another person feels comfortable.
And POSTING IS LIKE A CONVERSATION…ME FIRST, THEN YOU reminds us that communication is always more than content.
It is the experience of YOU.
FINAL SAY
Try the mirror.
Talk.
Smile.
Observe.
Then do it again.
At first…
awkward.
Then easier.
Then natural.
And one day…
you may not even realize you are doing it.
That is when the SMILING CURVE has become part of you.
Do not fake it.
Do not force it.
Do not smile when the moment calls for seriousness.
But when warmth belongs in the room…
let your face know it too.
Smile…
and there is a pretty good chance someone on the other side will feel it.
And maybe…
smile back.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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