You do not have to keep score on everybody else.
Life has a way of revealing what people do…
including YOU.
That frees you up for a better assignment:
MIND YOUR OWN SELF.
The Universe keeps score.
At least that is how I have come to look at it.
Not necessarily with some giant scoreboard hanging over us…
LOL.
But through:
cause and effect,
consequences,
memory,
character,
relationships,
results,
and the trail we leave behind.
What we do matters.
WHY we do it matters too.
Intention matters.
Motive matters.
Conduct matters.
And because of that…
I do not have to spend my entire life keeping score on everybody else.
That job is exhausting.
Better to:
MIND-MINE MY OWN SELF.
THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED
Reality has one wonderful quality.
It HAPPENED.
You can:
explain it,
reinterpret it,
defend it,
deny it,
argue about it…
but whatever actually occurred…
occurred.
That is reality.
No need to decorate it.
No need to rewrite it.
The lesson begins when we can say:
THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED.
Now…
what do I do with it?
That is much more useful.
DON’T INTERFERE
If life already has consequences built into it…
why spend all our energy trying to manage everybody else’s journey?
That does not mean:
ignore wrongdoing,
allow abuse,
or become indifferent.
NO.
It means do not become consumed with:
who deserves what,
who got away with what,
who should be punished,
who should have learned by now.
That can turn into a full-time job.
And guess what?
Nobody hired you.
LOL.
PAUSE FOR CAUSE.
There is enough work involved in managing:
your own conduct,
your own reactions,
your own choices,
your own intentions.
That is a lifetime assignment by itself.
CONSCIENCE
Conscience is one of the great inner warning systems.
When something inside says:
WAIT.
DON’T DO THAT.
THAT WASN’T RIGHT.
YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.
Pay attention.
Now conscience is not magic.
It can be influenced by:
upbringing,
culture,
beliefs,
experience,
and personal values.
But when YOUR conscience repeatedly bothers you about YOUR conduct…
that deserves examination.
Why fight it?
Look.
Listen.
Adjust.
Sometimes peace returns because the correction was made.
That is useful feedback.
THE INNER SCORECARD
There is another scorekeeper people overlook.
YOURSELF.
You know more about your own motives than anybody else does.
You know when:
you tried,
you cheated,
you gave your best,
you held back,
you helped,
you manipulated,
you told the truth,
you shaded it.
Other people may applaud something…
while YOU know better.
Or others may criticize you…
while YOU know your intentions were clean.
That inner knowledge matters.
Character is partly built there.
Where nobody else is watching.
LEARNING CURVE OF LIFE
We are traveling a learning curve none of us has traveled before in exactly this form.
Our own life.
First time through.
No rehearsal.
LOL.
That means mistakes are guaranteed.
Questions are allowed.
Investigation is encouraged.
We can ask:
WHY?
HOW?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT DID I MISS?
WHAT SHOULD I DO DIFFERENTLY?
That is one of the great advantages of being human.
We can reflect.
We can change.
We can learn from what happened yesterday…
and modify tomorrow.
That is a magnificent ability.
USE IT.
ASKING IS AVAILABLE
Want to know something?
ASK.
Research it.
Talk to somebody.
Read.
Observe.
Test.
Compare.
Question your own assumptions too.
The world contains more information than we could consume in a hundred lifetimes.
And yet some people stop learning because they decided they already know.
That is a dangerous place.
Curiosity keeps the learning curve alive.
LIFE IS SELF-EVIDENT
I like the idea of living a life that does not require endless explanation.
You should not have to continually announce:
I AM HONEST.
I AM KIND.
I AM RELIABLE.
I AM A GOOD PERSON.
Maybe just…
BE those things.
Then let the trail speak.
People eventually notice:
consistency,
conduct,
results,
character.
Not everybody will interpret you correctly.
That is life.
But over time…
patterns become visible.
YOU LEAVE A TRAIL
Everywhere you go…
you leave something.
An impression.
A memory.
A result.
A consequence.
Sometimes:
encouragement.
Sometimes:
frustration.
Sometimes:
help.
Sometimes:
damage.
That does not mean obsess over every encounter.
It means understand that your presence has influence.
That is why:
intention matters.
Tone matters.
Character matters.
You are writing something about yourself every day…
without using a pen.
DO NOT KEEP SCORE WITH RESENTMENT
Here is where scorekeeping gets dangerous.
I DID THIS FOR YOU.
YOU OWE ME.
I FORGAVE YOU THREE TIMES.
REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID IN 1998?
LOL.
That is not healthy bookkeeping.
That is resentment with accounting software.
Keep necessary boundaries.
Remember useful lessons.
But do not carry every old offense like a ledger.
Sometimes you need to close the books.
Otherwise…
the past keeps charging interest.
MIND-MINE YOUR OWN SELF
I like this expression.
MIND yourself.
And MINE yourself.
There is value down there.
Dig.
Look for:
skills,
motives,
beliefs,
habits,
weaknesses,
strengths,
patterns.
That is productive mining.
You may discover:
gold,
rocks,
old junk,
and things that need hauling out.
Fine.
That is the work.
Better to mine your own character…
than spend your life digging through everybody else’s.
LOL.
WHEN IS THE END?
Nobody knows exactly how much time they have.
That alone should simplify a few things.
Do you really want to spend your limited life:
resenting,
comparing,
judging,
keeping score,
replaying old arguments?
Or would you rather:
live,
learn,
love,
work,
laugh,
improve,
help?
That seems like a better use of the course.
THE FINAL GRADE
I do not know that life literally hands us a report card at the end.
But metaphorically?
Sure.
The grade shows up in:
who we became,
how we treated people,
what we learned,
what we built,
what we repaired,
and whether we actually participated.
Passing does not require perfection.
Thank goodness.
LOL.
It requires engagement.
Awareness.
Correction.
Growth.
Living.
RICHIE SPEAKS
Here is one Richie rule:
Do not waste your life keeping score on everybody else.
Another:
Your conscience is a better place to begin than somebody else’s behavior.
And one more:
Mine your own life long enough…
and you may discover enough work to keep you busy forever.
PEARLS FROM THE BOOKS
From the spirit of Pearls for the Soul:
“Character leaves evidence long after explanations have stopped.”
From the spirit of God I AM:
“What is done from the heart shapes the person doing it before it shapes anything else.”
From the spirit of It Is Finished:
“Release the old ledger when the lesson has already been paid for.”
PEARLS INSIGHT
A healthy personal scorecard focuses less on comparison and more on:
self-awareness,
accountability,
values,
intentions,
and consequences.
Constantly monitoring other people’s behavior can become:
resentment,
judgment,
or distraction.
A more useful question is:
WHAT DOES THIS SITUATION ASK OF ME?
That keeps responsibility where it can actually produce change.
PEARLS CONNECTION
This connects directly with ASSUME NOTHING IN TODAY’S WORLD…YOU MUST KNOW OR DON’T KNOW.
Reality matters more than assumption.
It also connects with APOLOGY IS ONLY HALF THE CYCLE…THE OTHER HALF STILL AWAITS.
We are responsible for our part…
not for controlling everybody else’s response.
And THE ANSWER MAY LIE OUTSIDE YOUR THINKING…WHAT THEN? reminds us that growth begins when we are willing to examine our own patterns honestly.
FINAL SAY
The Universe keeps score…
or perhaps life simply keeps producing consequences.
Either way…
you do not need to become the official scorekeeper.
Mind yourself.
Mine yourself.
Look at:
your intentions,
your motives,
your actions,
your conscience,
your results.
Correct what needs correcting.
Keep what is good.
Learn.
Then keep moving.
Let other people carry responsibility for their own ledger.
Your assignment is already big enough.
And when the course finally ends…
whenever that is…
perhaps the most meaningful score will not be:
HOW MUCH DID I HAVE?
But:
HOW WELL DID I LIVE?
Less scorekeeping.
More living.
That sounds like a passing grade to me.
— Richie
Pearls for the Soul
when you feed the soul, you feed everything.
https://pearlsforthesoul.com
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